第7章 下一站幸福 (6)
Life is simply as it is. Perhaps Benjamin Franklin said it best： “Our limited perspective， our hopes and fears become our measure of life， and when circumstances don’t fit our ideas， they become our difficulties.” We spend our lives wanting things，people， and events to be just as we want them to be—and when they’re not， we fight and we suffer.
The first step in recovering from over seriousness is to admit that you have a problem. You have to want to change， to become more easygoing. You have to see that your own uptightness is largely of your own creation—it’s composed of the way you have set up your life and the way you react to it.
The next step is to understand the link between your expectations and your frustration level. Whenever you expect something to be a certain way and it isn’t， you’re upset and you suffer. On the other hand， when you let go of your expectations， when you accept life as it is， you’re free. To hold on is to be serious and uptight. To let go is to lighten up.
A good exercise is to try to approach a single day without expectations. Don’t expect people to be friendly. Don’t expect your day to be problem free. Instead， as problems come up， say to yourself， “Ah， another hurdle to overcome.” As you approach your day in this manner you’ll notice how graceful life can be. Rather than fighting against life， you’ll be dancing with it. Pretty soon， with practice， you’ll lighten up your entire life. And when you lighten up， life is a lot more fun.
最近这段时间，我们所有人看起来似乎都有些过于严肃。我的大女儿时不时地对我说：“爸，瞧你又板着脸了。”即使是我们当中那些刻意乐观的人，恐怕也是太过严肃了。任何一件小事都可以让我们沮丧、恼火——自己迟到了5分钟，别人晚到了5分钟，交通堵塞，别人误解了我们或者说错了什么，支付账单，排队，烧煳了一顿饭，犯了一个实实在在的错误——不计其数。生活真的就是这样的小事都能让我们方寸大乱。
或许本杰明？富兰克林最好地解释了这个问题：“我们局限的视角，还有我们的希望和恐惧成为我们评价生活的标尺，只要出现的情形违背了我们的想法，它们就会变成我们的困扰。”我们一生都在期望事事如愿——而当事事不尽如人意时，我们便会反抗，便会为此折磨自己。
改掉过于严肃的心态的第一步是承认你有问题。你不得不有所改变，变得轻松一点儿。你一定要意识到烦躁的心情在很大程度上是你自己造成的——不管是你自己设定的生活方式， 还是你对事物的反应方式。
第二步是了解你的期望值和失望感之间的联系。一旦你所期望的事情没有实现，你就会沮丧、痛苦。同样的，当你抛开过多的期望，当你接受生活本来的样子，你便获得了自由。太过执著的期望必然导致严肃和紧绷，敢于放手才能怡然自得。
早晨醒来便下决心在一天里对任何人或事都不抱任何期望，这是一种很好的练习。不要期望人们都是友好的，不要期望这一天能够一帆风顺。这样，当遇到问题时，对自己说：“啊，又有一个需要跨越的障碍。”如果你用这种心态来迎接每一天，你就会发现生活原本是多么美好。与其反抗现实，还不如与它“共舞”。随着不断地练习，过不了多久，你就会让自己的整个生活更加轻松愉快。当你感到愉悦时，生活会变得更加丰富多彩。
记忆填空
1. People are frustrated and uptight about virtually _______—being five minutes late， having someone else show up five minutes _______， being stuck in_______， witnessing someone look at us wrong or say the wrong thing， paying bills， waiting in _______ ， overcooking a meal， making an honest mistake—you name it， we all lose perspective over it.
2. You have to want to_______ ， to become more easygoing. You have to see that your own uptightness is largely of your creation—it’s composed of the way you have set up your life and the _______ you react to it.
3. Rather than fighting_______life， you’ll be dancing with it. Pretty soon， with practice， you’ll lighten _______ your entire life.
佳句翻译
1. 改掉过于严肃的心态的第一步是承认你有问题。
2. 太过执著的期望必然导致严肃紧绷，敢于放手才能怡然自得。
3. 早晨醒来便下决心在一天里对任何人或事都不抱任何期望。
短语应用
1. People are frustrated and uptight about virtually everything—being five minutes late， having someone else show up five minutes late...
show up：出席；露面；揭露；露出
2. On the other hand， when you let go of your expectations， when you accept life as it is， you’re free.
on the other hand：另一方面
快乐自己做主
Are We Having Fun Yet
佚名 / Anonymous
We’ve all been brainwashed！ We were all taught the work ethic！
“Work (and suffer) till you die， or if you’re lucky retire. We don’t have time to waste on frivolities. We have responsibilities to fulfill. We have to be serious， work hard， rise in our career， make lots of money， and make earning money and advancing in our career a priority.”
I wish to change that programming in my life. I know that when I do the things I enjoy doing， things work out better for me. I know that when I do something against my will， against my heart， it doesn’t work out well. I know that stressing myself out to try to get a job done usually takes twice as long as taking time out and doing that same task at some other time in a relaxed manner.
We can change the criteria by which we decide what to do in our lives. Instead of “Will it bring in lots of money or advance my career”， we need to ask ourselves， “Will I enjoy doing this？ Will this be fun？ Am I looking forward to getting started on this？”
If you can’t answer “yes” to these questions， then quite possibly this is not the task for you！
If it is something that must be done， i.e. taxes， dishes， etc.， the solution is to find someone else to do them for you. There are some people who will enjoy and love to do what you prefer not to do. Really！ For example， I am not the world’s best housekeeper. I do not really enjoy cleaning， washing floors， windows， etc. Yet there are some people who enjoy the meditative aspect of this work and who really get satisfaction from a job well done. It is to my benefit to pay someone to do this work so I can take that time earning money doing things that I enjoy.
We are all very different and different things appeal to each one of us. Just because someone else enjoys a particular thing does not mean that you must. We can trust what I call the “fun index” to assist us in knowing if a particular action is the one for us. We can break away from the rule of thumb that judges things by whether they bring money or career advancement. We can change that to making our decisions based on whether an action will bring us pleasure and personal satisfaction. Does the work you do leave you feeling proud and pleased with yourself？ Are you following the voice of “should” or the one of “want to”？