第70章 FORWARD, MOLLUSKS!(2)

Bixiou. "No, I am not. Rabourdin resigns in a rage at finding Baudoyer appointed director."Vimeux [entering.] "Nonsense, no such thing! Antoine (to whom I have just been paying forty francs that I owed him) tells me that Monsieur and Madame Rabourdin were at the minister's private party last night and stayed till midnight. His Excellency escorted Madame Rabourdin to the staircase. It seems she was divinely dressed. In short, it is quite certain that Rabourdin is to be director. Riffe, the secretary's copying clerk, told me he sat up all the night before to draw the papers; it is no longer a secret. Monsieur Clergeot is retired. After thirty years' service that's no misfortune. Monsieur Cochlin, who is rich--"Bixiou. "By cochineal."

Vimeux. "Yes, cochineal; he's a partner in the house of Matifat, rue des Lombards. Well, he is retired; so is Poiret. Neither is to be replaced. So much is certain; the rest is all conjecture. The appointment of Monsieur Rabourdin is to be announced this morning;they are afraid of intrigues."

Bixiou. "What intrigues?"

Fleury. "Baudoyer's, confound him! The priests uphold him; here's another article in the liberal journal,--only half a dozen lines, but they are queer" [reads]:

"Certain persons spoke last night in the lobby of the Opera-house of the return of Monsieur de Chateaubriand to the ministry, basing their opinion on the choice made of Monsieur Rabourdin (the protege of friends of the noble viscount) to fill the office for which Monsieur Baudoyer was first selected. The clerical party is not likely to withdraw unless in deference to the great writer.

"Blackguards!"

Dutocq [entering, having heard the whole discussion]. "Blackguards!

Who? Rabourdin? Then you know the news?"

Fleury [rolling his eyes savagely]. "Rabourdin a blackguard! Are you mad, Dutocq? do you want a ball in your brains to give them weight?"Dutocq. "I said nothing against Monsieur Rabourdin; only it has just been told to me in confidence that he has written a paper denouncing all the clerks and officials, and full of facts about their lives; in short, the reason why his friends support him is because he has written this paper against the administration, in which we are all exposed--"Phellion [in a loud voice]. "Monsieur Rabourdin is incapable of--"Bixiou. "Very proper in you to say so. Tell me, Dutocq" [they whisper together and then go into the corridor].

Bixiou. "What has happened?"

Dutocq. "Do you remember what I said to you about that caricature?"Bixiou. "Yes, what then?"

Dutocq. "Make it, and you shall be under-head-clerk with a famous fee.

The fact is, my dear fellow, there's dissension among the powers that be. The minister is pledged to Rabourdin, but if he doesn't appoint Baudoyer he offends the priests and their party. You see, the King, the Dauphin and the Dauphine, the clergy, and lastly the court, all want Baudoyer; the minister wants Rabourdin."Bixiou. "Good!"

Dutocq. "To ease the matter off, the minister, who sees he must give way, wants to strangle the difficulty. We must find some good reason for getting rid of Rabourdin. Now somebody has lately unearthed a paper of his, exposing the present system of administration and wanting to reform it; and that paper is going the rounds,--at least, this is how I understand the matter. Make the drawing we talked of; in so doing you'll play the game of all the big people, and help the minister, the court, the clergy,--in short, everybody; and you'll get your appointment. Now do you understand me?"Bixiou. "I don't understand how you came to know all that; perhaps you are inventing it."Dutocq. "Do you want me to let you see what Rabourdin wrote about you?"Bixiou. "Yes."

Dutocq. "Then come home with me; for I must put the document into safe keeping."Bixiou. "You go first alone." [Re-enters the bureau Rabourdin.] "What Dutocq told you is really all true, word of honor! It seems that Monsieur Rabourdin has written and sent in very unflattering descriptions of the clerks whom he wants to 'reform.' That's the real reason why his secret friends wish him appointed. Well, well; we live in days when nothing astonishes me" [flings his cloak about him like Talma, and declaims]:--"Thou who has seen the fall of grand, illustrious heads, Why thus amazed, insensate that thou art, "to find a man like Rabourdin employing such means? Baudoyer is too much of a fool to know how to use them. Accept my congratulations, gentlemen; either way you are under a most illustrious chief" [goes off].

Poiret. "I shall leave this ministry without ever comprehending a single word that gentleman utters. What does he mean with his 'heads that fall'?"Fleury. "'Heads that fell?' why, think of the four sergeants of Rochelle, Ney, Berton, Caron, the brothers Faucher, and the massacres."Phellion. "He asserts very flippantly things that he only guesses at."Fleury. "Say at once that he lies; in his mouth truth itself turns to corrosion."Phellion. "Your language is unparliamentary and lacks the courtesy and consideration which are due to a colleague."Vimeux. "It seems to me that if what he says is false, the proper name for it is calumny, defamation of character; and such a slanderer deserves the thrashing."Fleury [getting hot]. "If the government offices are public places, the matter ought to be taken into the police-courts."Phellion [wishing to avert a quarrel, tries to turn the conversation].

"Gentleman, might I ask you to keep quiet? I am writing a little treatise on moral philosophy, and I am just at the heart of it."Fleury [interrupting]. "What are you saying about it, Monsieur Phellion?"Phellion [reading]. "Question.--What is the soul of man?

"Answer.--A spiritual substance which thinks and reasons."Thuillier. "Spiritual substance! you might as well talk about immaterial stone."Poiret. "Don't interrupt; let him go on."

Phellion [continuing]. "Quest.--Whence comes the soul?