第14章

Were she heiress to twenty thousand thrones, I would despise her and scorn her.But why speak of thrones? I have lost mine.Iam too weak to recover it--I am alone, and have no friend.'

'Oh, say not so, dear Prince!' says Gruffanuff.

'Besides,' says he, 'I am so happy here BEHIND THE THRONE that Iwould not change my place, no, not for the throne of the world!'

'What are you two people chattering about there?' says the Queen, who was rather good-natured, though not overburthened with wisdom.'It is time to dress for dinner.Giglio, show Prince Bulbo to his room.Prince, if your clothes have not come, we shall be very happy to see you as you are.' But when Prince Bulbo got to his bedroom, his luggage was there and unpacked; and the hairdresser coming in, cut and curled him entirely to his own satisfaction; and when the dinner-bell rang, the Royal company had not to wait above five-and-twenty minutes until Bulbo appeared, during which time the King, who could not bear to wait, grew as sulky as possible.As for Giglio, he never left Madam Gruffanuff all this time, but stood with her in the embrasure of a window, paying her compliments.At length the Groom of the Chambers announced His Royal Highness the Prince of Crim Tartary!

and the noble company went into the royal dining-room.It was quite a small party; only the King and Queen, the Princess, whom Bulbo took out, the two Princes, Countess Gruffanuff, Glumboso the Prime Minister, and Prince Bulbo's chamberlain.You may be sure they had a very good dinner--let every boy or girl think of what he or she likes best, and fancy it on the table.**Here a very pretty game may be played by all the children saying what they like best for dinner.

The Princess talked incessantly all dinner-time to the Prince of Crimea, who ate an immense deal too much, and never took his eyes off his plate, except when Giglio, who was carving a goose, sent a quantity of stuffing and onion sauce into one of them.Giglio only burst out a-laughing as the Crimean Prince wiped his shirt-front and face with his scented pocket-handkerchief.He did not make Prince Bulbo any apology.When the Prince looked at him, Giglio would not look that way.When Prince Bulbo said, 'Prince Giglio, may I have the honour of taking a glass of wine with you?' Giglio WOULDN'T answer.All his talk and his eyes were for Countess Gruffanuff, who you may be sure was pleased with Giglio's attentions--the vain old creature! When he was not complimenting her, he was making fun of Prince Bulbo, so loud that Gruffanuff was always tapping him with her fan, and saying--'Oh, you satirical Prince! Oh, fie, the Prince will hear!' 'Well, I don't mind,' says Giglio, louder still.The King and Queen luckily did not hear; for Her Majesty was a little deaf, and the King thought so much about his own dinner, and, besides, made such a dreadful noise, hobgobbling in eating it, that he heard nothing else.After dinner, His Majesty and the Queen went to sleep in their arm-chairs.

This was the time when Giglio began his tricks with Prince Bulbo, plying that young gentleman with port, sherry, madeira, champagne, marsala, cherry-brandy, and pale ale, of all of which Master Bulbo drank without stint.But in plying his guest, Giglio was obliged to drink himself, and, I am sorry to say, took more than was good for him, so that the young men were very noisy, rude, and foolish when they joined the ladies after dinner; and dearly did they pay for that imprudence, as now, my darlings, you shall hear!

Bulbo went and sat by the piano, where Angelica was playing and singing, and he sang out of tune, and he upset the coffee when the footman brought it, and he laughed out of place, and talked absurdly, and fell asleep and snored horridly.Booh, the nasty pig! But as he lay there stretched on the pink satin sofa, Angelica still persisted in thinking him the most beautiful of human beings.No doubt the magic rose which Bulbo wore caused this infatuation on Angelica's part; but is she the first young woman who has thought a silly fellow charming?

Giglio must go and sit by Gruffanuff, whose old face he, too, every moment began to find more lovely.He paid the most outrageous compliments to her:--There never was such a darling--Older than he was?--Fiddle-de-dee! He would marry her--he would have nothing but her!

To marry the heir to the throne! Here was a chance! The artful hussy actually got a sheet of paper, and wrote upon it, 'This is to give notice that I, Giglio, only son of Savio, King of Paflagonia, hereby promise to marry the charming and virtuous Barbara Griselda, Countess Gruffanuff, and widow of the late Jenkins Gruffanuff, Esq.'

'What is it you are writing, you charming Gruffy?' says Giglio, who was lolling on the sofa, by the writing-table.

'Only an order for you to sign, dear Prince, for giving coals and blankets to the poor, this cold weather.Look! the King and Queen are both asleep, and your Royal Highness's order will do.'

So Giglio, who was very good-natured, as Gruffy well knew, signed the order immediately; and, when she had it in her pocket, you may fancy what airs she gave herself.She was ready to flounce out of the room before the Queen herself, as now she was the wife of the RIGHTFUL King of Paflagonia! She would not speak to Glumboso, whom she thought a brute, for depriving her DEARHUSBAND of the crown! And when candles came, and she had helped to undress the Queen and Princess, she went into her own room, and actually practiced on a sheet of paper, 'Griselda Paflagonia,' 'Barbara Regina,' 'Griselda Barbara, Paf.Reg.,' and I don't know what signatures besides, against the day when she should be Queen, forsooth!