第70章

Not so, thank Heaven! But, as regards Beatrice's picture, the incident suggests a theory which may account for its unutterable grief and mysterious shadow of guilt, without detracting from the purity which we love to attribute to that ill-fated girl.Who, indeed, can look at that mouth,--with its lips half apart, as innocent as a babe's that has been crying, and not pronounce Beatrice sinless? It was the intimate consciousness of her father's sin that threw its shadow over her, and frightened her into a remote and inaccessible region, where no sympathy could come.It was the knowledge of Miriam's guilt that lent the same expression to Hilda's face.

But Hilda nervously moved her chair, so that the images in the glass should be no longer Visible.She now watched a speck of sunshine that came through a shuttered window, and crept from object to object, indicating each with a touch of its bright finger, and then letting them all vanish successively.In like manner her mind, so like sunlight in its natural cheerfulness, went from thought to thought, but found nothing that it could dwell upon for comfort.Never before had this young, energetic, active spirit known what it is to be despondent.It was the unreality of the world that made her so. Her dearest friend, whose heart seemed themost solid and richest of Hilda's possessions, had no existence for her any more; and in that dreary void, out of which Miriam had disappeared, the substance, the truth, the integrity of life, the motives of effort, the joy of success, had departed along with her.

It was long past noon, when a step came up the staircase.It had passed beyond the limits where there was communication with the lower regions of the palace, and was mounting the successive flights which led only to Hilda's precincts.Faint as the tread was, she heard and recognized it.It startled her into sudden life.Her first impulse was to spring to the door of the studio, and fasten it with lock and bolt.But a second thought made her feel that this would be an unworthy cowardice, on her own part, and also that Miriam- only yesterday her closest friend had a right to be told, face to face, that thenceforth they must be forever strangers.

She heard Miriam pause, outside of the door.We have already seen what was the latter's resolve with respect to any kiss or pressure of the hand between Hilda and herself.We know not what became of the resolution.As Miriam was of a highly impulsive character, it may have vanished at the first sight of Hilda; but, at all events, she appeared to have dressed herself up in a garb of sunshine, and was disclosed, as the door swung open, in all the glow of her remarkable beauty.The truth was, her heart leaped conclusively towards the only refuge that it had, or hoped.She forgot, just one instant, all cause for holding herself aloof.Ordinarily there was a certain reserve in Miriam's demonstrations of affection, in consonance with the delicacy of her friend.To-day, she opened her arms to take Hilda in.

"Dearest, darling Hilda!" she exclaimed."It gives me new life to see you!"Hilda was standing in the middle of the room.When her friend made a step or two from the door, she put forth her hands with an involuntary repellent gesture, so expressive that Miriam at once felt a great chasm opening itself between them two.They might gaze at one another from the opposite side, but without the possibility of ever meeting more; or, at least, since the chasm could never be bridged over, they must tread thewhole round of Eternity to meet on the other side.There was even a terror in the thought of their meeting again.It was as if Hilda or Miriam were dead, and could no longer hold intercourse without violating a spiritual law.

Yet, in the wantonness of her despair, Miriam made one more step towards the friend whom she had lost."Do not come nearer, Miriam!" said Hilda.Her look and tone were those of sorrowful entreaty, and yet they expressed a kind of confidence, as if the girl were conscious of a safeguard that could not be violated.

"What has happened between us, Hilda?" asked Miriam."Are we not friends?""No, no!"said Hilda, shuddering.

"At least we have been friends," continued Miriam."I loved you dearly! I love you still! You were to me as a younger sister; yes, dearer than sisters of the same blood; for you and I were so lonely, Hilda, that the whole world pressed us together by its solitude and strangeness.Then, will you not touch my hand?Am I not the same as yesterday?""Alas!no, Miriam!"said Hilda.

"Yes, the same, the same for you, Hilda," rejoined her lost friend."Were you to touch my hand, you would find it as warm to your grasp as ever.If you were sick or suffering, I would watch night and day for you.It is in such simple offices that true affection shows itself; and so I speak of them.Yet now, Hilda, your very look seems to put me beyond the limits of human kind!""It is not I, Miriam," said Hilda; "not I that have done this.""You, and you only, Hilda," replied Miriam, stirred up to make her own cause good by the repellent force which her friend opposed to her."I am a woman, as I was yesterday; endowed with the same truth of nature, the same warmth of heart, the same genuine and earnest love, which you have always known in me.In any regard that concerns yourself, I am not changed.And believe me, Hilda, when a human being has chosen a friend out of all the world, it is only some faithlessness between themselves, rendering true intercourse impossible, that can justify either friend in severing the bond. Have I deceived you?Then cast me off!