第36章

Yellowplush only burst out laughing at this; and though Aunt wrote a most indignant letter to Mr.Edmund Preston, complaining of the insolence of the servants of that right honourable gent, Mr.Preston did not take anynotice of her letter, further than to return it, with a desire that he might not be troubled with such impertinent visits for the future.A pretty day we had of it when this letter arrived, owing to my aunt's disappointment and rage in reading the contents; for when Solomon brought up the note on the silver tea-tray as usual, my aunt, seeing Mr.Preston's seal and name at the corner of the letter (which is the common way of writing adopted by those official gents)--my aunt, I say, seeing his name and seal, cried, "NOW, Mary, who is right?" and betted my wife a sixpence that the envelope contained an invitation to dinner.She never paid the sixpence, though she lost, but contented herself by abusing Mary all day, and said I was a poor- spirited sneak for not instantly horsewhipping Mr.P.A pretty joke, indeed! They would have hanged me in those days, as they did the man who shot Mr.Perceval.

And now I should be glad to enlarge upon that experience in genteel life which I obtained through the perseverance of Mrs.Hoggarty; but it must be owned that my opportunities were but few, lasting only for the brief period of six months: and also, genteel society has been fully described already by various authors of novels, whose names need not here be set down, but who, being themselves connected with the aristocracy, viz., as members of noble families, or as footmen or hangers- on thereof, naturally understand their subject a great deal better than a poor young fellow from a fire- office can.

There was our celebrated adventure in the Opera House, whither Mrs.

H.would insist upon conducting us; and where, in a room of the establishment called the crush-room, where the ladies and gents after the music and dancing await the arrival of their carriages (a pretty figure did our little Solomon cut, by the way, with his big cane, among the gentlemen of the shoulder-knot assembled in the lobby!)--where, I say, in the crush- room, Mrs.H.rushed up to old Lady Drum, whom I pointed out to her, and insisted upon claiming relationship with her Ladyship.But my Lady Drum had only a memory when she chose, as I may say, and had entirely on this occasion thought fit to forget her connection with the Titmarshes and Hoggarties.Far from recognising us, indeed, she called Mrs.Hoggarty an "ojus 'oman," and screamed out as loud as possible for apolice-officer.

This and other rebuffs made my aunt perceive the vanities of this wicked world, as she said, and threw her more and more into really serious society.She formed several very valuable acquaintances, she said, at the Independent Chapel; and among others, lighted upon her friend of the Rookery, Mr.Grimes Wapshot.We did not know then the interview which he had had with Mr.Smithers, nor did Grimes think proper to acquaint us with the particulars of it; but though I did acquaint Mrs.H.with the fact that her favourite preacher had been tried for forgery, SHE replied that she considered the story an atrocious calumny; and HE answered by saying that Mary and I were in lamentable darkness, and that we should infallibly find the way to a certain bottomless pit, of which he seemed to know a great deal.Under the reverend gentleman's guidance and advice, she, after a time, separated from St.Pancras altogether--"SAT UNDER HIM," as the phrase is, regularly thrice a week--began to labour in the conversion of the poor of Bloomsbury and St.Giles's, and made a deal of baby-linen for distribution among those benighted people.She did not make any, however, for Mrs.Sam Titmarsh, who now showed signs that such would be speedily necessary, but let Mary (and my mother and sisters in Somersetshire) provide what was requisite for the coming event.I am not, indeed, sure that she did not say it was wrong on our parts to make any such provision, and that we ought to let the morrow provide for itself.At any rate, the Reverend Grimes Wapshot drank a deal of brandy-and-water at our house, and dined there even oftener than poor Gus used to do.

But I had little leisure to attend to him and his doings; for I must confess at this time I was growing very embarrassed in my circumstances, and was much harassed both as a private and public character.

As regards the former, Mrs.Hoggarty had given me 50L.; but out of that 50L.I had to pay a journey post from Somersetshire, all the carriage of her goods from the country, the painting, papering, and carpeting of my house, the brandy and strong liquors drunk by the Reverend Grimes and his friends (for the reverend gent said that Rosolio did not agree with him); and finally, a thousand small bills and expenses incident to allhousekeepers in the town of London.

Add to this, I received just at the time when I was most in want of cash, Madame Mantalini's bill, Messrs.Howell and James's ditto, the account of Baron Von Stiltz, and the bill of Mr.Polonius for the setting of the diamond pin.All these bills arrived in a week, as they have a knack of doing; and fancy my astonishment in presenting them to Mrs.Hoggarty, when she said, "Well, my dear, you are in the receipt of a very fine income.If you choose to order dresses and jewels from first-rate shops, you must pay for them; and don't expect that I am to abet your extravagance, or give you a shilling more than the munificent sum I pay you for board and lodging!"How could I tell Mary of this behaviour of Mrs.Hoggarty, and Mary in such a delicate condition? And bad as matters were at home, I am sorry to say at the office they began to look still worse.