第37章 VILLA RUBEIN(35)

He seemed so old and poor--what could she give him? She unhooked a little silver brooch at her throat."You will get something for that," she said; "it's better than nothing.I am very sorry you are so old and poor."The beggar crossed himself."Gracious lady," he muttered, "may you never want!"Christian hurried on; the rustling of leaves soon carried the words away.She did not feel inclined to go in, and crossing the bridge began to climb the hill.There was a gentle breeze, drifting the clouds across the sun; lizards darted out over the walls, looked at her, and whisked away.

The sunshine, dappling through the tops of trees, gashed down on a torrent.The earth smelt sweet, the vineyards round the white farms glistened; everything seemed to leap and dance with sap and life; it was a moment of Spring in midsummer.Christian walked on, wondering at her own happiness.

'Am I heartless?' she thought.'I am going to leave him--I am going into life; I shall have to fight now, there'll be no looking back.'

The path broke away and wound down to the level of the torrent; on the other side it rose again, and was lost among trees.The woods were dank; she hastened home.

In her room she began to pack, sorting and tearing up old letters.

'Only one thing matters,' she thought; 'singleness of heart; to see your way, and keep to it with all your might.'

She looked up and saw Barbi standing before her with towels in her hands, and a scared face.

"Are you going a journey, gnadiges Fraulein?""I am going away to be married, Barbi," said Christian at last;"don't speak of it to any one, please."

Barbi leant a little forward with the towels clasped to the blue cotton bosom of her dress.

"No, no! I will not speak.But, dear Fraulein, that is a big matter; have you well thought?""Thought, Barbi? Have I not!"

"But, dear FrauIein, will you be rich?"

"No! I shall be as poor as you."

"Ach! dear God! that is terrible.Katrina, my sister, she is married; she tells me all her life; she tells me it is very hard, and but for the money in her stocking it would be harder.Dear Fraulein, think again! And is he good? Sometimes they are not good.""He is good," said Christian, rising; "it is all settled!" and she kissed Barbi on the cheek.

"You are crying, liebes Fraulein! Think yet again, perhaps it is not quite all settled; it is not possible that a maiden should not a way out leave?"Christian smiled."I don't do things that way, Barbi."Barbi hung the towels on the horse, and crossed herself.

Mr.Treffry's gaze was fixed on a tortoise-shell butterfly fluttering round the ceiling.The insect seemed to fascinate him, as things which move quickly always fascinate the helpless.Christian came softly in.

"Couldn't stay in bed, Chris," he called out with an air of guilt.

"The heat was something awful.The doctor piped off in a huff, just because o' this." He motioned towards a jug of claret-cup and a pipe on the table by his elbow."I was only looking at 'em."Christian, sitting down beside him, took up a fan.

"If I could get out of this heat--" he said, and closed his eyes.

'I must tell him,' she thought; 'I can't slink away.'

"Pour me out some of that stuff, Chris."

She reached for the jug.Yes! She must tell him! Her heart sank.

Mr.Treffry took a lengthy draught."Broken my promise; don't matter--won't hurt any one but me." He took up the pipe and pressed tobacco into it."I've been lying here with this pain going right through me, and never a smoke! D'you tell me anything the parsons say can do me half the good of this pipe?" He leaned back, steeped in a luxury of satisfaction.He went on, pursuing a private train of thought: "Things have changed a lot since my young days.When I was a youngster, a young fellow had to look out for peck and perch--he put the future in his pocket.He did well or not, according as he had stuff in him.Now he's not content with that, it seems--trades on his own opinion of himself; thinks he is what he says he's going to be.""You are unjust," said Christian.

Mr.Treffry grunted."Ah, well! I like to know where I am.If Ilend money to a man, I like to know whether he's going to pay it back; I may not care whether he does or not, but I like to know.The same with other things.I don't care what a man has--though, mind you, Chris, it's not a bad rule that measures men by the balance at their banks; but when it comes to marriage, there's a very simple rule, What's not enough for one is not enough for two.You can't talk black white, or bread into your mouth.I don't care to speak about myself, as you know, Chris, but I tell you this--when I came to London I wanted to marry--I hadn't any money, and I had to want.

When I had the money--but that's neither here nor there!" He frowned, fingering his pipe.

"I didn't ask her, Chris; I didn't think it the square thing; it seems that's out of fashion!"Christian's cheeks were burning.

"I think a lot while I lie here," Mr.Treffry went on; "nothing much else to do.What I ask myself is this: What do you know about what's best for you? What do you know of life? Take it or leave it, life's not all you think; it's give and get all the way, a fair start is everything."Christian thought: 'Will he never see?'

Mr.Treffry went on:

"I get better every day, but I can't last for ever.It's not pleasant to lie here and know that when I'm gone there'll be no one to keep a hand on the check string!""Don't talk like that, dear!" Christian murmured.

"It's no use blinking facts, Chris.I've lived a long time in the world; I've seen things pretty well as they are; and now there's not much left for me to think about but you.""But, Uncle, if you loved him, as I do, you couldn't tell me to be afraid! It's cowardly and mean to be afraid.You must have forgotten!"Mr.Treffry closed his eyes.

"Yes," he said; "I'm old."

The fan had dropped into Christian's lap; it rested on her white frock like a large crimson leaf; her eyes were fixed on it.

Mr.Treffry looked at her."Have you heard from him?" he asked with sudden intuition.