第77章

There is no use your telling me that you are going to be good," cried Lord Henry, dipping his white fingers into a red copper bowl filled with rose-water.

"You are quite perfect.Pray, don't change."Dorian Gray shook his head."No, Harry, I have done too many dreadful things in my life.I am not going to do any more.I began my good actions yesterday.""Where were you yesterday?"

"In the country, Harry.I was staying at a little inn by myself.""My dear boy," said Lord Henry, smiling, "anybody can be good in the country.There are no temptations there.That is the reason why people who live out of town are so absolutely uncivilized.Civilization is not by any means an easy thing to attain to.There are only two ways by which man can reach it.One is by being cultured, the other by being corrupt.Country people have no opportunity of being either, so they stagnate.""Culture and corruption," echoed Dorian."I have known something of both.It seems terrible to me now that they should ever be found together.

For I have a new ideal, Harry.I am going to alter.I think I have altered.""You have not yet told me what your good action was.Or did you say you had done more than one?" asked his companion as he spilled into his plate a little crimson pyramid of seeded strawberries and, through a perforated, shell-shaped spoon, snowed white sugar upon them.

"I can tell you, Harry.It is not a story I could tell to any one else.I spared somebody.It sounds vain, but you understand what Imean.She was quite beautiful and wonderfully like Sibyl Vane.I think it was that which first attracted me to her.You remember Sibyl, don't you? How long ago that seems! Well, Hetty was not one of our own class, of course.She was simply a girl in a village.But I really loved her.

I am quite sure that I loved her.All during this wonderful May that we have been having, I used to run down and see her two or three times a week.

Yesterday she met me in a little orchard.The apple-blossoms kept tumbling down on her hair, and she was laughing.We were to have gone away together this morning at dawn.Suddenly I determined to leave her as flowerlike as I had found her.""I should think the novelty of the emotion must have given you a thrill of real pleasure, Dorian," interrupted Lord Henry."But I can finish your idyll for you.You gave her good advice and broke her heart.

That was the beginning of your reformation.""Harry, you are horrible! You mustn't say these dreadful things.

Hetty's heart is not broken.Of course, she cried and all that.But there is no disgrace upon her.She can live, like Perdita, in her garden of mint and marigold.""And weep over a faithless Florizel," said Lord Henry, laughing, as he leaned back in his chair."My dear Dorian, you have the most curiously boyish moods.Do you think this girl will ever be really content now with any one of her own rank? I suppose she will be married some day to a rough carter or a grinning ploughman.Well, the fact of having met you, and loved you, will teach her to despise her husband, and she will be wretched.From a moral point of view, I cannot say that I think much of your great renunciation.

Even as a beginning, it is poor.Besides, how do you know that Hetty isn't floating at the present moment in some starlit mill-pond, with lovely water-lilies round her, like Ophelia?""I can't bear this, Harry! You mock at everything, and then suggest the most serious tragedies.I am sorry I told you now.I don't care what you say to me.I know I was right in acting as I did.Poor Hetty! As Irode past the farm this morning, I saw her white face at the window, like a spray of jasmine.Don't let us talk about it any more, and don't try to persuade me that the first good action I have done for years, the first little bit of self-sacrifice I have ever known, is really a sort of sin.

I want to be better.I am going to be better.Tell me something about yourself.

What is going on in town? I have not been to the club for days.""The people are still discussing poor Basil's disappearance.""I should have thought they had got tired of that by this time,"said Dorian, pouring himself out some wine and frowning slightly.

"My dear boy, they have only been talking about it for six weeks, and the British public are really not equal to the mental strain of having more than one topic every three months.They have been very fortunate lately, however.They have had my own divorce-case and Alan Campbell's suicide.

Now they have got the mysterious disappearance of an artist.Scotland Yard still insists that the man in the grey ulster who left for Paris by the midnight train on the ninth of November was poor Basil, and the French police declare that Basil never arrived in Paris at all.I suppose in about a fortnight we shall be told that he has been seen in San Francisco.It is an odd thing, but every one who disappears is said to be seen at San Francisco.It must be a delightful city, and possess all the attractions of the next world.""What do you think has happened to Basil?" asked Dorian, holding up his Burgundy against the light and wondering how it was that he could discuss the matter so calmly.

"I have not the slightest idea.If Basil chooses to hide himself, it is no business of mine.If he is dead, I don't want to think about him.

Death is the only thing that ever terrifies me.I hate it.""Why?" said the younger man wearily.

"Because," said Lord Henry, passing beneath his nostrils the gilt trellis of an open vinaigrette box, "one can survive everything nowadays except that.Death and vulgarity are the only two facts in the nineteenth century that one cannot explain away.Let us have our coffee in the music-room, Dorian.You must play Chopin to me.The man with whom my wife ran away played Chopin exquisitely.Poor Victoria! I was very fond of her.The house is rather lonely without her.Of course, married life is merely a habit, a bad habit.But then one regrets the loss even of one's worst habits.