Letters to His Son
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第168章 LETTER CXIV(2)

Every man becomes,to a certain degree,what the people he generally converses with are.He catches their air,their manners,and even their way of thinking.If he observes with attention,he will catch them soon,but if he does not,he will at long run contract them insensibly.I know nothing in the world but poetry that is not to be acquired by application and care.The sum total of this is a very comfortable one for you,as it plainly amounts to this in your favor,that you now want nothing but what even your pleasures,if they are liberal ones,will teach you.Icongratulate both you and myself upon your being in such a situation,that,excepting your exercises,nothing is now wanting but pleasures to complete you.Take them,but (as I am sure you will)with people of the first fashion,whereever you are,and the business is done;your exercises at Paris,which I am sure you will attend to,will supple and fashion your body;and the company you will keep there will,with some degree of observation on your part,soon give you their air,address,manners,in short,'le ton de la bonne compagnie'.Let not these considerations,however,make you vain:they are only between you and me but as they are very comfortable ones,they may justly give you a manly assurance,a firmness,a steadiness,without which a man can neither be well-bred,or in any light appear to advantage,or really what he is.

They may justly remove all,timidity,awkward bashfulness,low diffidence of one's self,and mean abject complaisance to every or anybody's opinion.La Bruyere says,very truly,'on ne vaut dans ce monde,que ce que l'on veut valoir'.It is a right principle to proceed upon in the world,taking care only to guard against the appearances and outward symptoms of vanity.Your whole then,you see,turns upon the company you keep for the future.I have laid you in variety of the best at Paris,where,at your arrival you will find a cargo of letters to very different sorts of people,as 'beaux esprils,savants,et belles dames'.These,if you will frequent them,will form you,not only by their examples,advice,and admonitions in private,as I have desired them to do;and consequently add to what you have the only one thing now needful.

Pray tell me what Italian books you have read,and whether that language is now become familiar to you.

Read Ariosto and Tasso through,and then you will have read all the Italian poets who in my opinion are worth reading.In all events,when you get to Paris,take a good Italian master to read Italian with you three times a week;not only to keep what you have already,which you would otherwise forget,but also to perfect you in the rest.It is a great pleasure,as well as a great advantage,to be able to speak to people of all nations,and well,in their own language.Aim at perfection in everything,though in most things it is unattainable;however,they who aim at it,and persevere,will come much nearer it,than those whose laziness and despondency make them give it up as unattainable.'Magnis tamen excidit ausis'is a degree of praise which will always attend a noble and shining temerity,and a much better sign in a young fellow,than 'serpere humi,tutus nimium timidusque procellae'.For men as well as women:

"---------born to be controlled,Stoop to the forward and the bold."A man who sets out in the world with real timidity and diffidence has not an equal chance for it;he will be discouraged,put by,or trampled upon.

But to succeed,a man,especially a young one,should have inward firmness,steadiness,and intrepidity,with exterior modesty and SEEMINGdiffidence.He must modestly,but resolutely,assert his own rights and privileges.'Suaviter in modo',but 'fortiter in re'.He should have an apparent frankness and openness,but with inward caution and closeness.

All these things will come to you by frequenting and observing good company.And by good company,I mean that sort of company which is called good company by everybody of that place.When all this is over,we shall meet;and then we will talk over,tete-a-tete,the various little finishing strokes which conversation and,acquaintance occasionally suggest,and which cannot be methodically written.

Tell Mr.Harte that I have received his two letters of the 2d and 8th N.S.,which,as soon as I have received a third,I will answer.Adieu,my dear!I find you will do.