第44章

The Duke, when he received Mrs Finn's note, demanding an interview, thought much upon the matter before he replied. She had made her demand as though the Duke had been no more than any other gentleman, almost as though she had a right to call upon him to wait upon her. He understood and admitted the courage of this;--but nevertheless he would not go to her. He had trusted her with that which of all things was the most sacred to him, and she had deceived him! He wrote her as follows:

'The Duke of Omnium presents his compliments to Mrs Finn. As the Duke thinks that no good could result either to Mrs Finn or to himself from an interview, he is obliged to say that he would rather not do as Mrs Finn has requested.

'But for the strength of this conviction the Duke would have waited upon Mrs Finn most willingly.'

Mrs Finn when she received this was not surprised. She had felt sure that such would be the nature of the Duke's answer; but she was also sure that is such an answer did come, she would not let the matter rest. The accusation was so bitter to her that she would spare nothing in defending herself,--nothing in labour and nothing in time. She would make him know that she was in earnest.

As she could not succeed in getting into his presence she must do so by letter,--and she wrote her letter, taking two days to think of her words.

'May 18, 18-

'MY DEAR DUKE OF OMNIUM, 'As you will not come to me, I must trouble your Grace to read what I fear will be a long letter. For it is absolutely necessary that I should explain my conduct to you. That you have condemned me I am sure you will not deny;--nor that you have punished me as far as the power of punishment was in your hands. If I can succeed in making you see that you have judged me wrongly, I think you will admit you error and beg my pardon. You are not one who from your nature can be brought easily to do this; but you are the one who will certainly do it if you can be made to feel that by not doing so you would be unjust. I am myself so clear as to my own rectitude of purpose and conduct, and I am so well aware of your perspicuity, that I venture to believe that if you will read this letter I shall convince you.

'Before I go any further I will confess that the matter is one,--I was going to say almost of life and death to me. Circumstances, not of my own seeking, have for some years past thrown me so closely into intercourse with your family that now to be cast off, and to be put on one side as a disgraced person,--and that so quickly after the death of her who loved me so dearly, and who was dear to me,--is such an affront as I cannot bear and hold up my head afterwards. I have come to be known as her whom your uncle trusted and loved, as her whom your wife trusted and loved,--obscure as I was before;--and as her whom, may I not say, you yourself trusted? As there was much of honour and very much of pleasure in this, so also was their something of misfortune. Friendships are safest when the friends are of the same standing. I have always felt there was a danger, and now the thing I have feared has come home to me.

'Now I will plead my case. I fancy, that when you first heard that I had been cognizant of your daughter's engagement, you imagined that I was aware of it before I went to Matching. Had I been so, I should have been guilty of that treachery of which you accuse me. I did know nothing of it till Lady Mary told me on the day before I left Matching. That she should tell me was natural enough. Her mother had known of it, and for the moment,--if I am not assuming too much in saying so,--I was filling her mother's place. But, in reference to you, I could not exercise the discretion which a mother might have used, and I told her at once, most decidedly, that you must be made acquainted with the fact.

'Then Lady Mary expressed to me her wish,--not that this matter should be kept any longer from you, for that it should be told to you by Mr Tregear. It was not for me to raise any question as to Mr Tregear's fitness or unfitness,--as to which indeed I could know nothing. All I could do was to say that if Mr Tregear would make communications at once, I should feel that I had done my duty. The upshot was that Mr Tregear came to me immediately on my return to London, and agreeing with me that it was imperative for you to be informed, went to you and did inform you. In all of that, if I have told the story truly, where has been my offence?

I suppose you will believe me, but your daughter can give evidence as to every word that I have written.

'I think that you have got into your mind that I have befriended Mr Tregear' suit, and that, having received this impression, you hold it with the tenacity which is usual to you. There never was a greater mistake. I went to Matching as the friend of my dear friend;---but I stayed there at your request, as your friend. Had I been, when you asked me to do so, a participator in that secret I could not have honestly remained in the position you assigned to me. Had I done so, I should have deserved your ill opinion. As it is I have not deserved it, and your condemnation of me has been altogether unjust. Should I not now receive from you a full withdrawal of all charges against me, I shall be driven to think that after all the insight which circumstances have given me into your character, I have nevertheless been mistaken in the reading of it.

'I remain, 'Dear Duke of Omnium, 'Yours truly, M. FINN' 'I find on looking over my letter that I must add one word further. It might seem that I am asking for a return of your friendship. Such is not my purpose.

Neither can you forget that you have accused me,--nor can I. What I expect is that you should tell me that you in your conduct to me have been wrong and that I in mine to you have been right. I must be enabled to feel that the separation between us has come from injury done to me, and not by me.'