第16章 CHAPTER III "STINGY GABE"(4)

"'Yes. He suggested my candidacy, as a compromise. Said that he, for one, would be proud to vote for me. Mr. Gale seems thoroughly repentant, a changed man. I am counting on him for great things in the future.'

"So the fuss seemed settled, thanks to the last person on earth you'd expect would be peacemaker. But that afternoon I met Darius Tompkins, Bassett's right-hand man.

"'Bailey,' says he, 'you're a Conservative, ain't you? You're for Dan through thick and thin?'

"'Why!' says I, 'I understand Dan and Gaius are both out of it now, and it's settled on Holway. Dan's promised to vote for him.'

"'HE has,' says Tompkins, with a wink, 'but the rest of us ain't.

We pledged our votes to Dan Bassett, and we ain't the kind to go back on our word. Dan himself'll vote for Gabe; so'll Gaius and his reg'lar tribe. That'll make twelve, countin' Holway's own.'

"'Make seventeen, you mean,' says I. 'Gaius and his crowd's fifteen and Dan's sixteen and Gabe's seven--'

"He winked again, and interrupted me. 'You're countin' wrong, my boy,' says he. 'Five of Gaius's folks come from the old billiard-room gang. Just suppose somethin' happened to make that five vote, on the quiet, for Bassett. Then--'

"A customer come in then, and Tompkins had to leave; but afore he went he got me to one side and whispers:

"'Keep mum, old man, and vote straight for Dan. We'll show old Holway that we can't be led around by the nose.'

"'Tompkins,' says I, 'I know your head well enough to be sartin that it didn't work this out by itself. And why are you so sure of the billiard roomers? Who put you up to this?'

"He rapped the side of his nose. 'The smartest politician in this town,' says he, 'and the oldest--J. W. Gale, Esq.! S-s-sh-h!

Don't say nothin'.'

"I didn't say nothin'. I was past talk. And that evenin' as I went past the billiard room on my way home, who should come out of it but Gaius Ellis, and HE looked as happy as Tompkins had.

"Friday night that clubroom was filled. Every member was there, and most of 'em had fetched their wives and families along to see the fun. There was whisperin' and secrecy everywheres. Honorable Gabe took the chair and makes announcements that the shebang is open for business.

"Up gets Dave Bassett and all but sheds tears. He says that he made up his mind to vote, not for himself, but for the founder and patron of the club, the Honorable Atkinson Holway. He spread it over Gabe thick as sugar on a youngster's cake. And when he set down all hands applauded like fury. But I noticed that he hadn't spoke for nary Conservative but himself.

"Then Gaius Ellis rises and sobs similar. He's stopped votin' for himself, too. His ballot is for that grand and good man, Gabriel Atkinson Holway, Esq. More applause and hurrahs.

"And then who should get up but Jotham Gale. He talks humble, like a has-been that knows he's a back number, but he says it's his privilege to cast his fust vote in that club for Mr. Holway, South Orham's pride. Nobody was expectin' him to say anything, and the cheers pretty nigh broke the winders.

"Gabe was turrible affected by the soft soap, you could see that.

He fairly sobbed as he sprinkled gratitude and acceptances. When the agony was over, he says the votin' can begin.

"I cal'lated he expected somebody'd move to make it unanimous, but they didn't. So the blank ballots was handed around, and the pencils got busy. Gabe app'ints three tellers, Bassett and Ellis, of course, for two--and the third, Jotham Gale.

"'As a compliment to our newest member,' says the chairman, smilin' philanthropic.

"When the votes was in the hat, the tellers retired to the amusement room to count up. It took a long time. I see the Conservatives and Progressives nudgin' each other and winkin' back and forth. Five minutes, then ten, then fifteen.

"And all of a sudden the biggest row bu'st loose in that amusement room that ever you heard. Rattlety--bang! Biff! Smash! The door flew open, and in rolled Bassett and Ellis, all legs and arms.

Gabe and some of the rest hauled 'em apart and held 'em so, but the language them two hove at each other was enough to bring down a judgment.

"'Gentlemen! gentlemen!' hollers poor Gabe. 'What in the world? I am astounded! I--'

"'You miserable traitor!' shrieks Gaius, wavin' a fist at Dan.

"'You low-down hound!' whoops Dan back at him.

"'Silence!' bellers Gabe, poundin' thunder storms on the desk.

'Will some one explain why these maniacs are-- Ah, Mr. Gale--thank goodness, YOU at least are sane!'

"Jotham walks to the front of the platform. He was holdin' the hat and a slip of paper with the result set down on it.

"'Ladies and feller members,' says he, 'there's been some surprisin' votin' done in this election. Things ain't gone as we cal'lated they would, somehow. Mr. Holway, your election wa'n't unanimous, after all.'

"The way he said it made most everybody think Gabe was elected, anyhow, and I guess Holway thought so himself, for he smiled forgivin' and says:

"'Never mind, Mr. Gale,' says he. 'A unanimous vote was perhaps too much to expect. Go on.'

"'Yes,' says Jotham. 'Well, here's the way it stands. I'll read it to you.'

"He fixes his specs and reads like this:

"'Number of votes cast, 32.'

"'Honorable Atkinson Holway has 4.'

"'WHAT?' gasps Stingy Gabe, fallin' into his chair.

"'Yes, sir,' says Jotham. 'It's a shame, I know, but it looks as nobody voted for you, Mr. Holway, but yourself and me and Dan and Gaius. To proceed:

"'Daniel Bassett has 9.'

"The Conservatives and their women folks fairly groaned out loud.

Tompkins jumped to his feet, but Jotham held up a hand.

"'Just a moment, D'rius,' he says. 'I ain't through yet.'

"'Gaius Ellis has 9.'

"Then 'twas the Progressives' turn to groan. The racket and hubbub was gettin' louder all the time.

"'There's ten votes left,' goes on Jotham, 'and they bear the name of Jotham W. Gale. I can't understand it, but it does appear that I'm elected president of this 'ere club. Gentlemen, I thank you for the honor, which is as great as 'tis unexpected.'