第34章 CHAPTER VI AVIATION AND AVARICE(6)

"The professor more'n hinted that Nate was a dunderhead idiot, and then he commenced to holler for Tolliver; he wanted to see Tolliver right off. Scudder thought he'd ought to see a doctor, but he wouldn't, so Nate plastered him up best he could, got him into the big chair in the front room, and went huntin' Augustus. Him and Olivia was still camped in the sand bank. Gus's right arm had got tired by this time, I cal'late, but he had a new hitch with his left. Likewise they was still starin' into each other's specs.

"'Excuse me for interruptin' the mesmerism,' says Nate, 'but the professor wants to see you.'

"They jumped and broke away. But it took more'n that to bring 'em down out of the clouds. They'd been flyin' a good sight higher than the old aeroplane had yet.

"'Uncle Nathan,' says Augustus, gettin' up and shakin' hands, 'I have the most wonderful news for you. It's hardly believable.

You'll never guess it.'

"'Give me three guesses and I'll win on the fust,' says Nate. 'You two are engaged.'

"They looked at him as if he'd done somethin' wonderful. 'But, Uncle,' says Gus, shakin' hands again, 'just think! she's actually consented to marry me.'

"'Well, that's gen'rally understood to be a part of engagin', ain't it?' says Nate. 'I'm glad to hear it. Miss Dixiand, I congratulate you. You've got a fine, promisin' young man.'

"That, to Nate's notion, was about the biggest lie he ever told, but Olivia swallered it for gospel. She seemed to thaw toward Scudder a little mite, but 'twa'n't at a permanent melt, by no means.

"'Thank you, Mr. Scudder,' says she, still pretty frosty. 'I am full aware of Mr. Tolliver's merits. I'm glad to learn that YOU recognize them. He has told some things concernin' his stay at your home which--'

"'Yes, yes,' says Nate, kind of hurried. 'Well, I'm sorry to dump bad news into a puddle of happiness like this, but your Uncle Ansel, Miss Dixland, has been tryin' to fly without his machine, and he's sorry for it.'

"Then he told what had happened to the professor, and Olivia started on the run for the house. Augustus was goin', too, but Nate held him back.

"'Wait a minute, Gus,' says he. 'Walk along with me; I want to talk with you. Now, as an older man, your nighest relation, and one that's come to love you like a son--yes, sir, like a son--I think it's my duty just now to say a word of advice. You're goin' to marry a nice girl that's comin' in for a lot of money one of these days. The professor, he's kind of old, his roof leaks consider'ble, and this trouble is likely to hurry the end along.

"'Now, then,' Nate goes on, 'Augustus, my boy, what are you and that simple, childlike girl goin' to do with all that money? How are you goin' to take care of it? You and 'Livia--you mustn't mind my callin' her that 'cause she's goin' to be one of the family so soon--you'll want to be fussin' with science and such, and you won't have no time to attend to the finances. You'll need a good, safe person to be your financial manager. Well, you know me and you know your Aunt Huldy Ann. WE know all about financin'; WE'VE had experience. You just let us handle the bonds and coupons and them trifles. We'll invest 'em for you. We'll be yours and 'Livia's financial managers. As for our wages, maybe they'll seem a little high, but that's easy arranged. And--'

"Gus interrupted then. 'Oh, that's all settled,' he says. 'Olivia and I have planned all that. When we're married we shall devote our lives to social work--to settlement work. All the money we ever get we shall use to help the poor. WE don't want any of it.

We shall live AMONG the poor, live just as frugally as they do.

Our money we shall give--every cent of it--to charity and--'

"'Lord sakes!' yells Nate, 'DON'T talk that way! Don't! Be you crazy, too? Why--'

"But Gus went on, talkin' a steady streak about livin' in a little tenement in what he called the 'slums' and chuckin' the money to this tramp and that, till Nate's head was whirlin'. 'Twa'n't no joke. He meant it and so did she, and they was just the pair of loons to do it, too.

"Afore Nate had a chance to think up anything sensible to say, Olivia comes hollerin' for Gus to hurry. Off he went, and Nate followed along, holdin' his head and staggerin' like a voter comin' home from a political candidate's picnic. All he could think of was: 'THIS the end of all my plannin'! What--WHAT'LL Huldy Ann say to THIS?'

"Nate found the professor bolstered up in his chair, with the other two standin' alongside. He was layin' down the law about that blessed aeroplane.