第39章 BICKERSTAFF CENSOR:--CASES IN COURT.(5)

I find I am so very unhappy,that,while I am busy in correcting the folly and vice of one sex,several exorbitances break out in the other.I have not thoroughly examined their new fashioned petticoats,but shall set aside one day in the next week for that purpose.The following petition on this subject was presented to me this morning:--"The humble petition of William Jingle,Coach-maker and Chair-maker,of the Liberty of Westminster:

"TO ISAAC BICKERSTAFF,ESQUIRE,CENSOR OF GREAT BRITAIN:

"Showeth,"That upon the late invention of Mrs.Catharine Cross-stitch,mantua-maker,the petticoats of ladies were too wide for entering into any coach or chair,which was in use before the said invention.

"That for the service of the said ladies,your petitioner has built a round chair,in the form of a lantern,six yards and a half in circumference,with a stool in the centre of it:the said vehicle being so contrived,as to receive the passenger by opening in two in the middle,and closing mathematically when she is seated.

"That your petitioner has also invented a coach for the reception of one lady only,who is to be let in at the top.

"That the said coach has been tried by a lady's woman in one of these full petticoats,who was let down from a balcony,and drawn up again by pulleys,to the great satisfaction of her lady,and all who behold her.

"Your petitioner,therefore,most humbly prays,that for the encouragement of ingenuity and useful inventions,he may be heard before you pass sentence upon the petticoats aforesaid.

"And your petitioner,"etc.

I have likewise received a female petition,signed by several thousands,praying that I would not any longer defer giving judgment in the case of the petticoat,many of them having put off the making new clothes,till such time as they know what verdict will pass upon it.I do,therefore,hereby certify to all whom it may concern,that I do design to set apart Tuesday next for the final determination of that matter,having already ordered a jury of matrons to be impannelled,for the clearing up of any difficult points that may arise in the trial.

Being informed that several dead men in and about this city do keep out of the way and abscond,for fear of being buried;and being willing to respite their interment,in consideration of their families,and in hopes of their amendment,I shall allow them certain privileged places,where they may appear to one another,without causing any let or molestation to the living,or receiving any,in their own persons,from the company of Upholders.Between the hours of seven and nine in the morning,they may appear in safety at Saint James's coffee-house,or at White's,if they do not keep their beds,which is more proper for men in their condition.

From nine to eleven I allow them to walk from Story's to Rosamond's pond in the Park or in any other public walks which are not frequented by the living at that time.Between eleven and three they are to vanish,and keep out of sight till three in the afternoon,at which time they may go to 'Change till five;and then,if they please,divert themselves at the Haymarket,or Drury Lane until the play begins.It is further granted in favour of these persons,that they may be received at any table,where there are more present than seven in number:provided that they do not take upon them to talk,judge,commend,or find fault with any speech,action,or behaviour of the living.In which case it shall be lawful to seize their persons at any place or hour whatsoever,and to convey their bodies to the next undertaker's;anything in this advertisement to the contrary notwithstanding.

Sheer Lane,January 4.

The court being prepared for proceeding on the cause of the petticoat,I gave orders to bring in a criminal,who was taken up as she went out of the puppet-show about three nights ago,and was now standing in the street,with a great concourse of people about her.