第43章 FALSE DOCTORING.(1)

From my own Apartment,October 20.

I do not remember that in any of my lucubrations I have touched upon that useful science of physic,notwithstanding I have declared myself more than once a professor of it.I have indeed joined the study of astrology with it,because I never knew a physician recommend himself to the public who had not a sister art to embellish his knowledge in medicine.It has been commonly observed,in compliment to the ingenious of our profession,that Apollo was god of verse as well as physic;and in all ages,the most celebrated practitioners of our country were the particular favourites of the Muses.Poetry to physic is indeed like the gilding to a pill;it makes the art shine,and covers the severity of the doctor with the agreeableness of the companion.

The very foundation of poetry is good sense,if we may allow Horace to be a judge of the art.

"Scribendi recte sapere est et principium et fons."HOR.ARS POET.3O9.

"Such judgment is the ground of writing well."ROSCOMMON.

And if so,we have reason to believe that the same man who writes well can prescribe well,if he has applied himself to the study of both.Besides,when we see a man making profession of two different sciences,it is natural for us to believe he is no pretender in that which we are not judges of,when we find him skilful in that which we understand.

Ordinary quacks and charlatans are thoroughly sensible how necessary it is to support themselves by these collateral assistances,and therefore always lay their claim to some supernumerary accomplishments,which are wholly foreign to their profession.

About twenty years ago,it was impossible to walk the streets without having an advertisement thrust into your hand,of a doctor "who was arrived at the knowledge of the 'Green and Red Dragon,'and had discovered the female fern-seed."Nobody ever knew what this meant;but the "Green and Red Dragon"so amused the people,that the doctor lived very comfortably upon them.About the same time there was pasted a very hard word upon every corner of the streets.This,to the best of my remembrance,was TETRACHYMAGOGON,which drew great shoals of spectators about it,who read the bill that it introduced with unspeakable curiosity;and when they were sick,would have nobody but this learned man for their physician.

I once received an advertisement of one "who had studied thirty years by candle-light for the good of his countrymen."He might have studied twice as long by daylight and never have been taken notice of.But elucubrations cannot be over-valued.There are some who have gained themselves great reputation for physic by their birth,as the "seventh son of a seventh son,"and others by not being born at all,as the unborn doctor,who I hear is lately gone the way of his patients,having died worth five hundred pounds per annum,though he was not born to a halfpenny.