第9章 有一种思念触动心扉
Little compliments mean so much to me sometimes.Children have never been very good at listening to their elders,but they have never failed to imitate them.
有时候，一点微不足道的肯定，对我却意义非凡。孩子们从来不会好好听从长辈的话，可是他们从来忘不了模仿长辈。
E.B.White to His Mother
(Jessie Hart White) 艾温·布鲁克斯·怀特致母亲
（杰西·哈特·怀特）
Beta Theta Pi house
Ohio State University
Columbus,Ohio
26 April 1922
Dearest Mum,
I am hoping this will arrive on April 27 to greet you on your 42nd wedding anniversary,but I am a little late in starting it as usual.Your letter reached me at Mansfield,O.a couple of days ago where it was forwarded from East Aurora.I guess I told you in one of my previous letters that the way to reach me by mail is via 159 Park Place,East Aurora.Mr.Cushman does the forwarding.
So you've been gay for forty years
For forty years and two—
Been jolly all through smiles and tears
So you've been gay for forty years
A thing one very seldom hears
I send my love to you
So you've been gay for forty years
For forty years and two
I hardly think I have written you since we left East Aurora a week ago Monday in the afternoon.We remained over Easter at the Cushman's and had Easter Sunday dinner at the Roy Croft's.The next day we left,clanking merrily out of town with our bed upon our back as goes the turtle...
Spring has arrived in Ohio.This is a flat state where red pigs graze in bright green fields and where farms are neat and prosperous—not like New York farms.We roll along through dozens of villages and cities whose names we never heard.They are typical of the Middle West.The oldest inhabitant is generally standing somewhere pulling a long white beard,the smithy door is generally open and the sound of the anvil to be heard,the village flapper is generally flapping up and down along Main Street in front of a group of jobless youths who help hold the drug store up,and somewhere there is always a housewife sweeping off a porch or carrying a spadeful of manure to the garden.Toward evening the country scenes become idyllic—the sort of thing you have seen in the moving pictures and never quite believed in.Sheep come drifting up long green lawns where poplars throw interminable shadows,come drifting up and stand like statues beneath white plum blossoms,while far down the lane and off in the fields a little Ford tractor moves like a snail across the furrows.Lilacs are in full bloom and the lavender iron-wood blossoms are coloring all the roads.
I've given up cigarettes until I get to California.Isn't that a good idea?Cush thinks it's great.I also am looking forward soon to giving up clean shirts.They're worse than cigarettes.I'm on my last one now.
The Ford is a tremendous expense.Repairs have cost up 75 cents since we left New York—50 cents for a busted radiator and 25 cents for a fan belt.Pretty heavy going.
New York is the state for roads.Here there are pikes,which are cement on one side and dirt on the other.When you meet another car if you are on the cement side all is well,and when you are on the dirt side you steer to one side,sink down indefinitely,and then get out and lift the car back onto the road again.That's why Fords can go places where heavier cars have difficulty.Whenever your Ford shows signs of weakening,you can lift it back where it belongs.
Tell Father he ought to read Benchley's Of All Things if he wants a good time.I read it the other day in Mansfield.It's about as funny as anything there is on the market today with the exception,of course,of the Cushman-White travelogues which are simply killing.
We'll be leaving for Kentucky on Friday morning.This place is so beautiful we want to stay for a day or so to become acquainted with it.
Congratulations again on your anniversary.Have a good time at Atlantic City honey mooning.Love to Father—tell him I received his letter and thank you.I mailed the slip to the Trust Company the other day in Mansfield.
Yours,Andy
最亲爱的妈妈：我希望这封信可以在4月27日到达您手中，赶上庆贺您结婚42周年纪念日，但是如往常一样我的这封信写得有点迟了。您的信几天前在曼斯菲尔德到达了我手中，是从东奥罗拉那边转过来的。我猜想我在前几封信中的某一封信告诉过您，可以写信给东奥罗拉公园路159号的库什曼先生，让他转交给我。四十年来您是如此快乐四十二年了——一路走来，充满着喜悦的微笑和泪水四十年来您是如此快乐一件多么少见的事情我把我的爱寄送给您四十年来您是如此快乐四十二年了我根本没想到，自从上周周一下午我们离开东奥罗拉后我竟会给您写信。我们在库什曼家停留到了复活节，还在罗伊克罗夫特家吃了复活节晚餐。第二天我们就离开了，我们像乌龟一样，背上背着我们的铺盖，迈着欢快的步子走出了城……俄亥俄州的春天已经来临了。这是一个平坦之州，红猪在翠绿的田野里悠闲地觅食。这里的农场非常整洁，呈现出一片繁荣景象——不像纽约的农场。我们的车轮一直向前滚动着，穿过了许许多多的村庄和城市，那些村庄和城市的名字我们从未听说过。这里是典型的中西部地区。最年长的村民通常站在某个地方，捋着长长的白色胡须；打铁铺的门通常是开着的，可以听到铁砧的声音；村里的年轻女子通常会沿着大街在一群没有工作的年轻人面前来回晃动着，那些年轻人通常都只是帮忙照看药店；在某个地方总有一个家庭主妇在扫着门廊，或者运满满的一锹肥料到花园去。接近黄昏时，乡村景色变得如田园诗一般美好——那是您只有在电影里才能见到的风光，您是不会相信的。羊群沿着长长的绿色的草地移动过来，白杨树在草地上投射下了冗长的阴影，羊群过来了，它们就像雕像一样站立在盛开的白梅树下。沿着远处的乡间小路望向田野，你可以看到一辆小福特拖拉机像一只蜗牛在阡陌间慢行。紫丁香花盛开，熏衣香铁树的花儿把每条路都装点得五彩缤纷。我想在去加利弗尼亚前把烟戒了，我想这是一个不错的主意，库什也这么认为。同时我也很想尽快摆脱这些洁净的衬衫，现在穿着的已经是最后一件了。福特牌汽车花销很惊人。自我们离开纽约到现在，维修费已花了75美分——50美分花在修理炸裂的散热器上，25美分则花在修理鼓风机皮带上。开支相当大。纽约州是一个公路之州。这里有收费的公路，它一边是水泥路，另一边是泥土路。当你的车与另一辆车相遇时，假如你正好在水泥路这一边，那一切还好；但是如果你的车是在泥土路这一边，你要转到水泥路上，说不定你的车就会陷下去。那样你就必须下车，然后把车拖回到路上。这就是为什么福特车能去的地方而重型车却存在困难，未必能去。无论什么时候福特车有抛锚的迹象，你能把它拖回到它原来的地方。告诉父亲，如果他想拥有快乐的时光，那他应该读一下本奇利的《万花筒》。几天前我在曼斯菲尔德看过那本书。它几乎和当今市面上所有的其他东西一样有趣，当然库什曼·怀特的旅行见闻除外，那只不过可以拿来消磨时间而已。我们星期五早晨准备动身前往肯塔基州。这个地方是如此美丽，我想再多呆一两天以加深对它的了解。在您的结婚周年纪念日之际再次向您表示祝贺。祝愿您在大西洋城度过一个愉快的蜜月。代我向父亲大人问好——告诉他我已收到了他的信，谢谢您。几天前，我把那张便条寄到了曼斯菲尔德的信托公司。
您的：安迪
1922年4月26日写于俄亥俄州哥伦布俄亥俄州大学
名人小课堂
E.B.怀特（E.B.White,1899～1985年）美国当代著名散文家、评论家，以散文闻名于世。他毕业于康奈尔大学，曾为多家杂志报社工作过。除了大量的随笔，怀特还写了三部童话，分别是《斯图尔特鼠小弟》（又译《精灵鼠小弟》）、《夏洛的网》、《天鹅的喇叭》（又译《吹小号的天鹅》），同样成为儿童与成人共同喜爱的文学经典。
T.E.Lawrence to
His Mother(I) 托马斯·爱德华·劳伦斯致母亲（1）
Fleece Hotel Colchester
August 13,1905
Dear Mother,
We came here from Ipswich over a rather hilly road 18 miles long.Still we took two hours over it;and walked about six hills;a proceeding Father does not like.We are feeding splendidly.Father is much better and has not coughed since Lynn.
I have had to give up Bures.We came by the other road because of the wind.Still I hope to get Pebmarsh tomorrow,and I got one rubbing yesterday so I'm not altogether mournful.I have sent off all my rubbings to Miss Powell.Hope she'll like them.I expect you have Will with you now.Will you please tell him not to let you do more work than is necessary to keep you in condition?Also tickle Arnie when he gets up and when he goes to bed all from me.Tell him there are dozens of butterflies fall sorts about here,some Red Admirals;and a lot of other very queer ones.Ask Beadle to come up here as he has never seen a Death's Head or some such insect.Norwich Museum he would have enjoyed.There was the largest collection of raptorial birds in existence 409 out of 470 species.I wonder if he'll shriek with horror when he hears that I did not look at them but went off and examined the Norman W.C.s.In the hall there was a thrilling stuffed group a boa constrictor strangling a tiger.We hope to return to Oxford Wednesday.Kindly take heaps of love from me for yourself.And when you've had enough,divide the remainder into three portions,and give them to the three worms you have with you.I wonder how the Doctor is enjoying Jerry.Don't forget the Canon's birthday next Sunday.We have had one post card from Will,one from yourself and one letter from you.Loud snores to all.Love to yourself.
Ned
亲爱的妈妈：我们从伊普斯威奇郡到这里花了两个多小时，走过一条长18英里的山路，翻越了大约六座山。父亲不喜欢这样的行程。不过一路上我们吃得很好。父亲现在好多了，自从离开林恩以后他就再也没有咳嗽过。我不得不放弃取道布尔斯。因为起风了，我们只好从另一条路走。但我依然希望明天能到达佩伯玛西。昨天我又得到了一块拓片，所以我不是那么悲伤。我已将所有的拓片寄给了鲍威尔小姐，希望她会喜欢。我想现在威尔正与您在一起。请告诉他不要让您过于操劳以免影响健康。此外，我不能在阿尼起床或上床睡觉时再去扰他了。告诉他这儿有很多不同种类的蝴蝶：如“赤蛱蝶”，以及其他一些很奇特的品种。也告诉比德尔，让他到这儿来，因为他还从未看过“骷髅天蛾”或诸如此类的昆虫。他肯定会喜欢诺威奇博物馆的。这儿收藏了最多的猛禽类标本，藏有现存470个品种中的409种。我在想如果他知道我没有去看那些鸟，而是去看了诺曼的W.C.s是否会惊恐得大叫。大厅里有一组令人恐怖的蟒蛇勒死老虎的标本。我们希望星期三能返回牛津。请为您自己带上我无限的爱，并向您的三只小虫转达我的爱。我想知道医生到底有多么喜欢杰里。不要忘了下个星期天是坎农的生日。我们已收到了威尔的一张明信片，还有您的一张明信片以及一封信。向所有人大声问好！
爱您的：内德1
905年8月13日写于科尔切斯特福利斯旅馆
名人小课堂
托马斯·爱德华·劳伦斯（T.E.Lawrence,1888～1935年）英国军官，因在1916年至1918年的阿拉伯起义中作为英国联络官的角色而出名，被称为“阿拉伯的劳伦斯”。他的代表作品是《智慧的七柱》，许多阿拉伯人将他看成民间英雄，推动了他们从奥斯曼帝国和欧洲的统治中获得自由的理想。
T.E.Lawrence to His Mother(ò) 托马斯·爱德华·劳伦斯致母亲（2）
Evreux
Sunday 11 August 1907
Dear Mother,
Father is out,and so I am at last writing to you.I would have written before,but was so busy taking photos,etc.at Chateau Gaillard.Beauvais was a wonderful place,and I left it with great regret for Gisors which was disappointing,(a large castle,but all the towers locked up),from Gisors we came to Petit Andelys.The Chateau Gaillard was so magnificent,and the post cards so abominable,that I stopped there an extra day.And I did nothing but photograph,from 6.a.m.to 7.p.m.I took ten altogether.And if all are successful,I will have a wonderful series.I will certainly have to start a book.Some of them were very difficult to take,and the whole day was very hard.I think Pt.Andelys would be a good place to stop at.The hotel is cheap,and very pleasant.The Seine runs near the back door.And the bathing is excellent,from a little wooded island in the centre of the river.There are plenty of hills within sight,and many interesting places.Also the scenery all along the river is exceedingly fine.Long strings of barges pulled by a steam-tug pass the hotel occasionally,and the whole place is overshadowed by the hills with the ruins of the Chateau.I have talked so much about this to you that you must know it all by heart,so I had better content myself with saying that its plan is marvelous,the execution wonderful,and the situation perfect.The whole construction bears the unmistakable stamp of genius.Richard I must have been a far greater man than we usually consider him.He must have been a great strategist and a great engineer,as well as a great man-at-arms.
亲爱的妈妈：父亲出去了，我终于能给您写信了。我早就应该写的，但是一直忙于在盖拉德城堡拍照等等。博韦是一个迷人的地方，我带着无限的遗憾离开动身去日索尔（一个大城堡，但是那里所有的塔都被上了锁），这令我大失所望。我们又从日索尔出发前往小安德利斯。盖拉德城堡是如此富丽堂皇，然而那里的明信片却是那么的糟糕，以致使我在那儿多停留了一天。除了拍照，没做其他任何事，我一直从早晨6点拍到下午7点，一共拍了10卷。如果所拍的照片全部成功，我就有一套精彩绝伦的系列照了，那么我肯定得为此而写一本书。有些场景特别难拍，所以那一整天很辛苦。我认为小安德利斯是个不错的停留之地，旅店既便宜又舒适。塞纳河从旅店后门的不远处流过，在河中心的一个树林茂密的小岛有一个极佳的浴场。许多小山丘和有趣的景致尽收眼底。塞纳河沿岸的风光也非常优美。偶尔可以看到蒸汽拖船拖着一长串驳船从旅店门前驶过。整个地方被堆着城堡废墟的小山丘的阴影遮蔽着。我对你描述了这么多，想必你一定对它的情况心领神会了。那么，我最好满足一下自己的感觉，发表一下对盖拉德城堡的感慨。它的规划设计非凡，施工技艺精湛，选址位置完美。整个建筑物真是巧夺天工，实乃天才之作。理查德一世一定是一位远比我们通常所想象的还要伟大得多的人物：他一定是一位伟大的战略家，一位伟大的工程师，同时也一定是一位伟大的士兵。
于埃莆勒，星期日1907年8月11日
Ernest Hemingway to His Mother
(Grace Hall Hemingway) 欧内斯特·海明威致母亲
（格雷斯·霍尔·海明威）
Gstaad,5 February 1927
Dear Mother,
Thank you very much for sending me the catalogue of the Marshal Field exhibit with the reproduction of your painting of the Blacksmith Shop in it.It looks very lovely and I should have liked to see the original.
I did not answer when you wrote about the Sun etc.book as I could not help being angry and it is very foolish to write angry letters and more than foolish to do so to one's mother.It is quite natural for you not to like the book and I regret your reading any book that causes you pain or disgust.
On the other hand I am in no way ashamed of the book,except in as I may have failed in accurately portraying the people I wrote of,or in making them really come alive to the reader.I am sure the book is unpleasant.But it is not all unpleasant and I am sure is no more unpleasant than the real inner lives of some of our best Oak Park families.You must remember that in such a book all the worst of the people's lives is displayed while at home there is a very lovely side for the public and the sort of thing of which I have had some experience in observing behind closed doors.Besides you,as an artist,know that a writer shouldn't be forced to defend his choice of a subject but should be criticized on how he has treated that subject.The people I wrote of were certainly burned out,hollow and smashed—and that is the way I have attempted to show them.I am only ashamed of the book in whatever way it fails to really give the people I wished to present.I have a long life to write other books and the subjects will not always be the same—except as they will all,I hope,be human beings.
And if the good ladies of the book study club under the guidance of Miss Fanny Butcher,who is not an intelligent reviewer—I would have felt very silly had she praised the book—agree unanimously that I am prostituting a great talent etc.for the lowest ends—why the good ladies are talking about something of which they know nothing and saying very foolish things.
As for Hadley,Bumby and myself—although Hadley and I have not been living in the same house for some time(we have lived apart since last Sept.and by now Hadley may have divorced me)we are the very best of friends.She and Bumby are both well,healthy and happy and all the profits and royalties of The Sun Also Rises,by my order,are being paid directly to Hadley,both from America and England.The book has gone into,by the last ads I saw in January,5 printings(15000)copies,and is still going strongly.It is published in England in the spring under the title of Fiesta.Hadley is coming to America in the spring so you can see Bumby on the profits of Sun Also Rises.I am not taking one cent of the royalties,which are already running into several thousand dollars,have been drinking nothing but my usual wine or beer with meals,have been leading a very monastic life and trying to write as well as I am able.We have different ideas about what constitutes good writing—that is simply a fundamental disagreement—but you really are deceiving yourself if you allow any Fanny Butchers to tell you that I am pandering to sensation-alism etc.I get letters from Vanity Fair,Cosmopolitan etc.asking me for stories,articles,and serials,but am publishing nothing for six months or a year(a few stories sold to Scribner's the end of last year and one funny article out)because I know that now is a very crucial time and that it is much more important for me to write in tranquility,trying to write as well as I can,with no eye on any market,nor any thought of what the stuff will bring,or even if it can ever be published—than to fall into the money making trap which handles American writers like the corn husking machine handled my noted relative's thumb.
I'm sending this letter to both of you because I know you have been worried about me and I am always sorry to cause you worry.But you must not do that—because,although my life may smashup in different ways,I will always do all that I can for the people I love(I don't write home a lot because I haven't time and because,writing,I find it very hard to write letters and have to restrict correspondence to the letters I have to write—and my real friends know that I am just as fond of them whether I write or not)that I have never been a drunk nor even a steady drinker(You will hear legends that I am—they are tacked on everyone that ever wrote about people who drink)and that all I want is tranquility and a chance to write.You may never like anything I write—and then suddenly you might like something very much.But you must believe that I am sincere in what I write.Dad has been very loyal and while you,mother,have not been loyal at all I absolutely understand that it is because you believed you owed it to yourself to correct me in a path which seemed to you disastrous.
So maybe we can drop that all.I am sure that,in the course of my life,you will find much cause to feel that I have disgraced you if you believe everything you hear.On the other hand with a little shot of loyalty as an anesthetic you may be able to get through all my obvious disreputability and find,in the end,that I have not disgraced you at all.
Anyhow,best love to you both,
Ernie
亲爱的母亲：十分感谢您给我寄来马歇尔·菲尔德展览的目录，以及您在展览中展出的油画《铁匠铺》的复制品。这幅画看起来非常可爱，我真想看一看原作。您之前的来信中谈到《太阳照样升起》这本书，我没有回信，因为我无法抑制自己愤怒的心情。写一封字里行间流露出愤怒心情的信是愚蠢的；而且，给自己的母亲写这样的信则远远不止愚蠢那么简单了。您不喜欢这本书那是相当自然的，我为让您读到引起您痛苦和厌恶的书而感到抱歉。另一方面，我无论怎样也不会为这本书感到惭愧，当然在某些方面除外——例如，我可能没能准确地描绘我书中所写的人物，或没能将那些人物栩栩如生地展现在读者面前。我肯定这本书里的内容会令人感到厌恶。但这本书并不是所有的内容都令人感到厌恶；而且我肯定，它不会比我们最好的奥克·帕克家族真正的内部生活更令人感到厌恶。您一定记得，在这本书里，人们生活中所有最阴暗的一面都被揭露出来，但同时它还向公众展现了家庭生活美好的一面，以及我暗中亲眼观察到的那类事情。此外，作为一位艺术家，您知道一个作者不应被迫去为他所选的主题辩护，而应当接受别人对他如何对待这一主题方面的评论。我所描绘的人物肯定是心力交瘁、空洞虚伪和支离破碎的——而那正是我试图表达的。我只是遗憾在这本书里，我没能把自己真正想要表达给读者知道的内容写出来。不过，我的一生还很长，我有足够的时间来写其他的书，而且我所选的主题也不会总是一样——除了如我希望的，它们都将是关于人类的话题之外。假如“读书俱乐部”的淑女们，在并不聪明的书评者范妮·布彻小姐的指导下——要是得到她对这本书的表扬，我倒会感到非常可笑——全体一致同意我为那最坏的结局而践踏天资等等——为什么那些淑女们要去谈论她们一窍不通的东西，还净说些蠢话呢？至于哈德利、邦比和我自己——尽管哈德利和我已经有一段时间没有一同居住在同一所房子里（我们从去年九月份开始分居，到目前为止哈德利可能已跟我离了婚了），但我们还是最要好的朋友。她和邦比都很好，身体健康且生活愉快。按照我的要求，《太阳照样升起》这部书的所有收益和版税都会从美国和英国直接汇给哈德利。我从1月份最后一次看到的广告中得知，这部书已经第五次印刷（15000本），并且销量仍在急剧上升。这部书春季在英国出版，书名为《节日》。这个春天，哈德利将会到美国来，到时您就可以看到邦比得到《太阳照样升起》这部书的收益。版税共计已有几千美元，不过我一分钱也没拿。一直以来，我吃饭时除了喝一点平时喝的葡萄酒或啤酒外，什么也没喝；我一直过着修道士般清贫的生活，并尽我所能地写出优秀作品。对于什么是优秀作品，我们有不同的见解——那仅仅是一种基本的不一致——但是如果您让范妮·布彻这类人告诉您，说我在哗众取宠之类的话，那么您就真的是在欺骗自己。我收到《名利场》、《世界主义者》等刊物来信要我为其写短篇小说、文章、以及连载小说，但我最近6个月或者说这一年都没有发表任何作品（去年年底卖过几个短篇小说和一篇滑稽文章给斯克里布纳出版社），因为我知道现在是非常关键的时刻，对我来说，安心地写作并尽我所能地写得更好，既不去关注市场，也不去考虑写作能带来什么，甚至不去在乎我的作品能否出版——这些事情比掉入操纵美国作家们的赚钱陷阱重要得多，这个陷阱就像玉米脱壳机解决了我那著名的亲戚的拇指一样。我知道您二老一直担心着我，所以我把这封信寄给您们，我很抱歉，让您们担心了。但您们不必那样做——因为，尽管我的人生可能遭遇不同的灾难，但我会永远为我所爱的人们去做我所能做的一切事情（我没有给家里写很多的信，因为我没有时间，也因为写信本身，我发觉写信是很难的一件事，因此只写那些不得不写的信——而且，我的那些真正的朋友都知道，不管我是否给他们写信，我都一如既往地爱着他们），我从来不是一个酒鬼，也很少喝酒（你们会听到关于我是酒鬼的传闻——人们总是把任何一个描写酒徒的作家冠上酗酒的罪名），而我所想要的只不过是安宁的环境和一个写作的机会。也许您们从未喜欢过我写的任何作品——您们也可能会突然非常喜欢某部作品。但是您们一定要相信，我对于自己所写的东西都是非常真诚的。父亲一直是非常诚心的，而您，母亲，一点儿都不诚心，我完全理解这是因为在您看来，我走的是一条灾难性的道路，而您认为您有义务来纠正我。因此，或许我们该停止那一切了。我敢肯定，在我的人生道路上，假如您相信道听途说的每一件事，您将会找到很多的理由觉得我让您蒙羞了。但在另一方面，如果您带有一点点儿诚心作为麻醉剂，您也许会明白，我所有显而易见的声名狼藉，到最后发现事实上我一点儿都没有让您蒙羞。不论怎样，真心的爱献给您二老。
欧尼
名人小课堂
欧内斯特·海明威（Ernest Hemingway,1899～1961年）美国小说家。海明威出生于美国伊利诺伊州芝加哥市郊区的奥克帕克，代表作品有《老人与海》、《太阳照样升起》、《永别了，武器》、《丧钟为谁而鸣》等，他凭借《老人与海》获得1953年普利策奖及1954年诺贝尔文学奖。1961年，蜚声世界文坛的海明威用自己的猎枪结束了自己的生命。
Ernest Hemingway to His Father 欧内斯特·海明威致父亲
Hendaye,France,14 September 1927
Dear Dad,
Thanks very much for your letter and for forwarding the letter to Uncle Tyley.I had a good letter from him yesterday.You cannot know how badly I feel about having caused you and Mother so much shame and suffering—but I could not write you about all of my and Hadley's troubles even if it were the thing to do.It takes two weeks for a letter to cross the Atlantic and I have tried not to transfer all the hell I have been through to anyone by letter.I love Hadley and I love Bumby—Hadley and I split up—I did not desert her nor was I committing adultery with anyone.I was living in the apartment with Bumby—looking after him while Hadley was away on a trip and it was when she came back from this trip that she decided she wanted the definite divorce.We arranged everything and there was no scandal and no disgrace.Our trouble had been going on for a long time.It was entirely my fault and it is no one's business.I have nothing but love admiration and respect for Hadley and while we are busted up I have not in any way lost Bumby.He lived with me in Switzerland after the divorce and he is coming back in November and will spend this winter with me in the mountains.
You are fortunate enough to have only been in love with one woman in your life.For over a year I had been in love with two people and had been absolutely faithful to Hadley.When Hadley decided that we had better get a divorce the girl with whom I was in love was in America.I had not heard from her for almost two months.In her last letter she had said that we must not think of each other but of Hadley.You refer to"Love Pirates,""persons who break up your home etc."and you know that I am hot tempered but I know that it is easy to wish people in Hell when you know nothing of them.I have seen,suffered,and been through enough so that I do not wish anyone in Hell.It is because I do not want you to suffer with ideas of shame and disgrace that I now write all this.We have not seen much of each other for a long time and in the meantime our lives have been going on and there has been a year of tragedy in mine and I know you can appreciate how difficult and almost impossible it is for me to write about it.
After we were divorced,if Hadley would have wanted me,I would have gone back to her.She said that things were better as they were and that we were both better off.I will never stop loving Hadley nor Bumby nor will I cease to look after them.I will never stop loving Pauline Pfeiffer to whom I am married.I have now responsibility toward three people instead of one.Please understand this and know that it doesn't make it easier to write about it.I do understand how hard it is for you to have to make explanations and answer questions and not hear from me.I am a rotten correspondent and it is almost impossible for me to write about my private affairs.Without seeking it—through the success of my books—all the profits of which I have turned over to Hadley—both in America,England,Germany and the Scandinavian countries—because of all this there is a great deal of talk.I pay no attention to any of it and neither must you.I have had come back to me,stories people have told about me of every fantastic and scandalous sort—all without foundation.These sorts of stories spring up about all writers—ball players—popular evangelists or any public performers.But it is through the desire to keep my own private life to myself—to give no explanations to anybody—and not to be a public performer personally that I have unwittingly caused you great anxiety.The only way I could keep my private life to myself was to keep it to myself—and I did owe you and Mother a statement on it.But I can't write about it all the time.
I know you don't like the sort of thing I write but that is the difference in our taste and all the critics are not Fanny Butcher.I know that I am not disgracing you in my writing but rather doing something that some day you will be proud of.I can't do it all at once.I feel that eventually my life will not be a disgrace to you either.It also takes a long time to unfold.
You would be so much happier and I would too if you could have confidence in me.When people ask about me,say that Ernie never tells us anything about his private life or even where he is but only writes that he is working hard.Don't feel responsible for what I write or what I do.I take the responsibility,I make the mistakes and I take the punishment.
亲爱的父亲：非常感谢您的来信以及帮忙转交信件给泰勒叔叔。我昨天收到了一封他寄来的充满善意的信。您无法知道，我对自己给您和母亲带来如此多的羞辱和痛苦是感到多么的糟糕——但我没法写信告诉您关于我和哈德利之间所有的问题，即使那是我应该做的。一封信跨越大西洋需要花费两个星期的时间，而且我尽量不要把我所经历过的痛苦通过书信转移给任何人。我爱哈德利和邦比——哈德利和我离婚了——我并没有遗弃她，也没有与任何人通奸。我之前一直和邦比住在公寓里——哈德利外出旅行时，我一直照顾着他。而当她旅行回来时，她决定想要跟我明确地提出离婚。我们安排好了一切，没有流言蜚语，也没有耻辱。我们之间的问题由来已久，冰冻三尺非一日之寒。这全部是我的过错，与他人无关。对于哈德利，我除了敬仰和尊重，别无其他。当我们的婚姻破裂时，我无论如何不能失去邦比。离婚后，邦比和我一起居住在瑞士，他11月份将会回来陪我在山里过冬。您非常幸运，一生中只爱一个女人。在一年多的时间里，我同时爱上两个人，但我绝对忠实于哈德利。当哈德利决定我们最好离婚时，我爱的那个女孩正在美国。我已经差不多有两个月时间没有收到她的来信了。在她的上一封信里，她说道，我们不能只考虑彼此，而应该考虑考虑哈德利。您提到“爱情女强盗”、“破坏您的家庭的人”等等，您知道我脾气急躁，但是我知道，当一个人不了解别人时，很容易诅咒他们进地狱。可我已经目睹了、遭受了并经历了足够的痛苦，因此我不会诅咒任何人进地狱。正是因为我不希望您承受羞愧和耻辱等思想的包袱，现在我才给您写信说明这一切。我们已有很长一段时间没有见面了，与此同时，我们的生活还在继续，发生在我身上的悲剧已有一年了。我知道您能理解，对我来说，将这一切写出来有多么困难，几乎不可能。我们离婚后，假如哈德利还需要我，我将会回到她的身边。但她说情况有所好转，已如过去一样，我们俩也都渐入佳境。我将永远不会停止对哈德利和邦比的爱，也不会停止对他们的照顾。我也永远不会停止对与我结婚的宝琳·费孚的爱。现在，我对三个人而不只是对一个人负有责任。请您理解这一切，并理解我写出这一切并不会更轻松。我真的理解，您不得不向别人解释和回答别人的提问，加上又收不到我的信，这一切对您来说有多么困难。我是一个糟糕的通信者，对我来说，把我的私事写出来几乎是不可能的。没有刻意追求——凭借我的作品的成功——由此带来的所有收益，我已转交给哈德利——包括美国、英国、德国、斯堪的纳维亚半岛上的国家——因为这一切，又引起了一堆的闲言碎语。我根本不在乎这些闲话，您也不必在乎。我已经回归自我，人们所谈论的关于我的每一个空想和诽谤类的故事，都是没有根据的。这类故事涌现在每一个作家、运动员、受欢迎的福音传道士或任何公众表演者的身上。但由于我渴望拥有属于自己的私人生活——我没有对任何人做出解释——而且就个人而言，我不愿成为一个公众表演者。我的行为却在不知不觉中给您带来了巨大的焦虑。唯一使我拥有属于自己的私人生活的办法，就是把它保留给自己——对于这件事，我的确欠您和母亲一个解释，但我不能总是写信谈论它。我知道您不喜欢我写的那种类型的作品，但那是我们的品味有所不同，而且并非所有的评论家都是范妮·布彻。我知道我没有在我的作品中让您蒙羞，而是做了一件将来某一天会令您引以为傲的事。我不能立刻做到。我觉得我的生活最终也将不会给您带来耻辱。这同样需要很长一段时间才能展示出来。如果您对我充满信心，您会感到快乐得多，我也会感到快乐得多。当人们问起我，您就说欧尼从来不告诉我们他的私人生活，甚至不告诉我们他在哪里，而只是写信说他在努力工作。您不必觉得要为我所写的或者我所做的事情负责。我自己承担责任，我犯了错误，我接受惩罚，一人做事一人当。
1927年9月14日写于法国，昂达伊
William Cullen Bryant to His Mother 威廉·库伦·布莱恩特致母亲
(June,1821)
Dear Mother,
I hasten to send you the melancholy intelligence of what has lately happened to me.
Early on the evening of the eleventh day of the present month,I was at a neighboring house in this village.Several people of both sexes were assembled in one of the apartments,and three or four others,with myself,were in another.At last came in a little elderly gentleman,pale,thin,with a solemn countenance,hooked nose,and hollow eyes.It was not long before we were summoned to attend in the apartment where he and the rest of the company were gathered.We went in and took our seats;the little elderly gentleman with the hooked nose prayed,and we all stood up.When he had finished,most of us sat down.The gentleman with the hooked nose then muttered certain cabalistical expressions which I was too much frightened to remember,but I recollect that at the conclusion I was given to understand that I was married to a young lady of the name of Frances Fairchild,whom I perceived standing by my side,and I hope in the course of a few months to have the pleasure of introducing to you as your daughter-in-law,which is a matter of some interest to the poor girl,who has neither father nor mother in the world...
I looked only for goodness of heart,an ingenuous and affectionate disposition,a good understanding,etc.,and the character of my wife is too frank and single-hearted to suffer me to fear that I may be disappointed.I do myself wrong;I did not look for these nor any other qualities,but they trapped me before I was aware,and now I am married in spite of myself.
Thus the current of destiny carries us along.None but a madman would swim against the stream,and none but a fool would exert himself to swim with it.The best way is to float quietly with the tide...
Your affectionate son,
William
亲爱的母亲：我匆忙给您寄去这封信，是想告诉您最近发生在我身上的一件令人郁闷的事情。这个月11号那天的傍晚时分，我刚好在与村子相邻的一栋房子里。有几个男女聚集在其中一间屋里，而我自己跟其他三四个人则待在另外一间里。最后，进来了一位年纪稍长的小个子先生，他脸色苍白、身材瘦削，有着一副严肃的面孔、如鹰钩般的鼻子以及一双空洞的眼睛。不一会儿，我们被人召唤到另外那间屋子里去，那位先生和其他人都聚集在那里。我们走进去，坐了下来。那位鹰钩鼻小个子先生开始作祷告，我们全体起立。他作完祷告之后，我们多数人都坐了下来。接着，那位鹰钩鼻先生口中念念有词，讲了些神秘的话语。我当时非常害怕，以至于没有记住他到底说了些什么。但是我记得在结束的时候，我被告知自己已经和一个名叫弗朗西丝·菲切尔德的姑娘结婚了。我感觉得到她当时就站在我身边，我希望几个月后能荣幸地把她作为您的儿媳妇介绍给您。这是一件令那个可怜的姑娘感兴趣的事，她的父母均已不在人世……我所要寻找的对象，只要求她心地善良、性情直率、重感情、温柔体贴等。而我的妻子为人过于坦率和单纯，我害怕自己会失望。我自己做错了，我并没有去寻求这些或那些品质，但是在我自己还未意识到之前，却已掉入了他们的圈套，身不由己地结婚了。命运的潮流正是这样带领着我们一直向前的。除了疯子，没人会逆流而上；除了傻子，也没人会竭力与潮共舞。最好的办法就是静静地随波逐流……
您深情的儿子：威廉
写于1821年6月
名人小课堂
威廉·库伦·布莱恩特（William Cullen Bryant,1794～1878年）美国诗人和新闻记者。美国最早期的浪漫主义诗人之一，代表作品有《诗集》、《死亡随想》、《致水鸟》及《自然之声》等。作为美国首位重要的自然派诗人，他常被称为“美国的华兹华斯”。布莱恩特引导美国诗歌摆脱了古典主义模式的僵硬束缚，使之进入一个简朴清新的时期。
Albert Schweitzer to His Parents(I) 阿尔贝特·施韦泽致父母（1）
Barcelona
Wednesday,2:00 P.M.
22 October,1908
My dear parents,
The worst is behind us!That was last night's organ concert and the lecture preceding it.Quite frankly I was somewhat worried about this lecture since I am not used to giving long talks in French and the hall is enormous:three thousand people.But to my amazement I discovered that I felt as much at home in French as I do in German and that it was easier for me to speak loudly and clearly in French than in German!I stood there without a manuscript,and within three minutes I sensed that I had captured my audience more surely than I had ever done before.I spoke for fifty-five minutes,and next came an organ recital that lasted for one hour.I have never been so successful.When the program ended,they all remained in their seats.I had to go back to my organ and play for another half hour.The audience was sorry to leave...it was half-past midnight!
Here,the concerts are announced for 9:15,but at that time there's not a soul in the auditorium;toward 9:30 the first few people arrive,strolling about in the hall and the lobby,and toward ten o'clock,after three rings of a bell,the people deign to finally take their seats!
On Saturday,a grand concert with organ and orchestra is scheduled in the morning,and I have long rehearsals in the evening,for the organ is very difficult to play since the sound is always delayed.Luckily,I am well rested,and I am managing to overcome the difficulties.Absolutely everyone addresses me as"cheer ma re";the art critics settle down in the auditorium during rehearsals;my portrait is displayed in the music stores.It's such fun.
I am staying with Walter at the premier hotel on the grand square with splendid palm trees.I have a view of the square and the entire city all the way to the big mountains forty minutes away from here;they are as high as the Hohnack.I walk over to them every afternoon;it takes me a total of two hours.
The weather is the same as at home on a lovely June day.The men who were waiting for me at the railroad station roared with laughter when they saw Walter and me in overcoats.
As I am writing to you,the square below my window is filled with a terrible din.The king is arriving in an hour,and the troops are now taking up their positions.Tomorrow evening there will be a grand gala performance at the theater.I have been invited,but I am not going;I want to rest,for I feel too well to risk my excellent condition.
I will close now;otherwise the letter won't go off tonight.It has to be at the post office by four o'clock.There is no night train to France.
Please forward this letter to the Ehretsmanns and to the Woytts.
Hugs and kisses,
Albert
亲爱的父母亲：最坏的时刻已经过去了！我指的是昨晚的管风琴音乐会以及音乐会前的演讲。坦白讲，我多少有点担心这次演讲，因为我不习惯用法语作长篇演讲，加之音乐厅非常大，坐了有3000人。但令我感到惊讶的是，我发现自己的法语竟然可以和德语讲得一样熟练，而且对我来说，洪亮清晰地讲法语比讲德语更容易！我站在那儿，没有演讲稿，3分钟内我比以前任何一次都更确定地感觉到我已经把听众深深地吸引住了。我持续讲了55分钟，接下来是持续一个小时的管风琴独奏音乐会。我从未如此成功过。当节目演奏完毕时，所有的听众仍然停留在他们座位上不愿离去，我不得不再次回到管风琴旁，又加演了半小时。当听众们依依不舍地离去时，已是午夜12点半了！这里，音乐会虽然通知9点15分开始，但到了开始的时间，大厅里却不见一个人影；接近9点半时，第一批才到了几个人，他们在礼堂或前厅里闲逛，快到10点钟时，3次铃响之后，人们才最终屈尊就座！这个星期六的上午安排了一场由管风琴及管弦乐队演奏的盛大音乐会，前天晚上我花了很长时间彩排，由于管风琴发出的声音总是滞后，所以很难演奏。幸运的是，我休息得很好，精力充沛，成功地设法克服了这些困难。每一个人都称我为“尊敬的艺术大师”；艺术评论家们在彩排期间都认认真真地坐在听众席上；我的画像还被悬挂在许多乐器店里。这多么有趣啊！我与沃尔特住在大广场上的首相宾馆，这里四周环绕着美丽壮观的棕榈树。在房间里，透过窗户我能欣赏到整个广场、整个城市，甚至能一直看到离这儿有40分钟路程之遥的群山；那些山与霍荷纳克山一样高。我每天下午步行至山脚下，来回得花费我整整两个小时的时间。此时这里的气候犹如家乡那宜人的6月。在火车站，接我的那些人看到我和沃尔特竟还穿着大衣，他们都哈哈大笑起来。就在我给你们写信之际，窗外的广场上人声鼎沸，国王将于一小时后驾到，此刻仪仗队正在列队准备迎接。明天晚上剧院里将举行一场盛大的欢庆表演。我已接到邀请，但我不打算去。我想休息一下，因为我现在感觉很好，我不想冒险破坏我的最佳状态。我得就此搁笔了，否则这封信今晚就寄不出去了。这封信得在4点钟之前交到邮局，因为这儿没有开往巴黎的夜班火车。请把这封信转交给埃雷茨曼夫妇和沃伊特夫妇。拥抱、亲吻你们！
阿尔贝特
1908年10月22日星期三，下午2:00写于巴塞罗那
名人小课堂
阿尔贝特·施韦泽（Albert Schweitzer,1875～1965年）德国哲学家、神学家、医生、管风琴演奏家、社会活动家、人道主义者。1904年，在哲学、神学和音乐方面已经拥有巨大声望的他听到刚果缺少医生的呼吁，决定到非洲行医。1913年他来到非洲，在加蓬的兰巴雷内建立了丛林诊所，服务非洲直至逝世。1952年，他获得了诺贝尔和平奖，被称为“非洲之子”。
Albert Schweitzer to His Parents(ò) 阿尔贝特·施韦泽致父母（2）
Barcelona
Friday,23 October,1908
My dear parents,
I have just been asked to participate in the gala concert that will be given on Monday evening in honor of the king and queen.I have accepted.I am to play a Handel concerto for organ and orchestra and the organ part in Bach's Magnificence.The tickets are horrendously expensive.Some of the boxes cost one thousand francs!The net receipts are earmarked for the Catalonian orphans.I am the only soloist in this concert.
I get no chance to write because so much time is wasted here;yesterday's rehearsal dragged on until 12:30 A.M.!Today from 2:00 to 6:00!No one ever hurries,and they all smoke constantly.No sooner have we rehearsed for ten minutes than the conductor sits down,rolls himself a cigarette,and smokes it,and the instrumentalists do likewise...and they don't continue rehearsing until the cigarette has been smoked.Paul could see fiddlers galore here,each fiddling away with a cigarette in the corner of his mouth.At first I was annoyed at the waste of time,but now I am quite domesticated,and I smile.
The newspapers have reported very positively on my lecture and my recital.On Saturday evening the auditorium will be sold out.I live very sensibly.I have just taken a big two-hour stroll along the large ring street,which runs from the hotel to the mountains.No rehearsal tomorrow morning!I'll sleep,write...and take a walk.
Yesterday I was amazed to see that they don't take anything like the same security measure for the monarchs as in Germany.The crowd thronged around the king's carriage,so it could advance only at a walking pace.Freedom reigns here.They did not even clear the streets for the military parade.A woman with a donkey cart held up an entire regiment.It was too comical.We went to the harbor—immensely huge—to see the French squadron.
The city and the people generally make the best impression.Everything is clean,everyone works.
It is ten-thirty at night.I am writing to you by the open window...the large palm trees are swaying in the wind.
I embrace you with all my heart,
Albert
亲爱的父母亲：我刚刚被邀请参加下周一晚上为国王和王后举行的庆祝音乐会。我接受了这一邀请。我将为管风琴和管弦乐演奏一段韩德尔的协奏曲，管风琴部分则演奏巴赫的《辉煌》。这场音乐会的票价贵得要命，有些包厢卖到1000法郎！音乐会的纯收入将指定为加泰罗尼亚的孤儿的专款专用。我是本场音乐会唯一的独奏者。我没有机会写信，因为许多时间都白白地浪费在这儿了。昨天的彩排一直拖到上午12点半！今天则从2点拖到6点！没有一个人抓紧时间的，而且他们还时不时地抽烟。我们彩排还不到10分钟，乐队指挥就坐下来，为自己卷了支烟，抽了起来，于是乐手们也有样学样……直到香烟抽完了，他们才继续彩排。保罗可以看到小提琴手们聚集在这里，每个人嘴角都叼着一支香烟在那浪费时间。一开始我对如此浪费时间的行为感到气愤，但我现在相当习以为常了，一笑置之。报界对我的演讲及独奏会进行了高度肯定的报道。星期六晚上，音乐会的门票将出售一空。我过得非常潇洒。我刚刚沿着从宾馆至群山的环形大街散了两个小时的步。明天早上没有彩排！我可以睡睡觉、写写信……还有散散步。昨天，我看到他们竟然没有采取任何像在德国为君主采取的那些安保措施，我感到非常惊奇。人群蜂拥在国王的马车周围，马车只能以步行的速度缓缓前行。这里充满了自由。他们甚至没有为军队的检阅肃清街道。一个赶着驴车的妇女挡住了整个阅兵团。真是太滑稽了。我们还去了港口——非常大的港口——去看法国的海军舰队。这个城市和这儿的人们普遍地给我留下了最好的印象。这里每件事物都是干净的，每个人都在工作。现在是晚上10点半。我正在敞开的窗下给你们写信……高大的棕榈树在风中摇曳。我全身心地拥抱你们。
阿尔贝特
1908年10月23日，星期五写于巴塞罗那