CHAPTER 5 Is Your Professional Behavior Respected?

“Nothing so conclusively proves a man’s ability to lead others I as what he does from day to day to lead himself.”

—Thomas J. Watson, American industrialist,
entrepreneur, former chairman of IBM

As a project manager—a leader—do you both preach and practice professionally mature behavior? Are you role-model caliber? You should be! In my experience, most leaders have a credibility gap with coworkers in this area. By coworkers, I mean the full range of the organizational hierarchy, from people who work under you, to your peers, to higher-ups.

Here’s a starter list of professional behaviors to embrace that can help you be a more effective—and respected—leader:

Develop great working relationships Make relationships with your stakeholders not just work, but work well. Remember, leadership is the art of getting things done through people. The best leaders have nurtured great relationships with others.

Make your boss and your project sponsor look good Your actions are a reflection on your boss (resource manager) and your project sponsor. Your job includes helping make them look good and helping make their jobs as easy as possible. If you want to improve your working relationship with your boss and project sponsor, this technique is sure to get their favorable attention.

Be a role model to your peers Strive to act and behave in a manner that motivates people to emulate your style. You want your peer stakeholders to look forward to being in work meetings with you or including you as a welcomed contributor who can help bring harmony and effective resolutions to the challenges at hand.

Be a role model to your project members Show your project members—those you lead as a project manager—how you expect them to behave. Showing them through your actions is far more effective than merely telling them. You want them to ask themselves often, “How would [your name] handle this?”

Count to that proverbial 10 before saying or doing something that will cause problems Once the words leave your lips or your actions have been shown, you cannot pull them back. Moreover, it can take weeks, sometimes months, to recover from a moment of indiscretion. For example, consider not sending potentially inflammatory emails at the end of the day. Your patience is lower and you may not be at your best in demonstrating good judgment. Write the emails, but wait until morning to reread them. More often than not, you will change the wording or not send the emails, and will decide to handle the problems in a different way.

“In the midst of great joy do not promise anyone anything. In the midst of great anger do not answer anyone’s letter.”

—Chinese proverb

Meet your commitments Don’t make a commitment unless you can achieve it. Whether to your boss or another stakeholder, meeting a commitment is one of the best things you can do to establish a great reputation. If you cannot meet a commitment, then realign expectations before the original due date, so that collateral damage can be minimized. Projects and business are all about commitments. You should not take lightly the importance of making and managing commitments effectively, nor do you want others to form that perception from your behavior.

Ask others for their advice Bouncing ideas off others serves two great purposes. First, it improves relationships. People are flattered and feel important to be asked. Second, you will learn in the process. Sometimes the lesson learned is a validation of your original approach, but other times you will walk away with a better idea.

Look for solutions Don’t become an obstacle. Search for all the reasons that something can be made to work, rather than focusing on why it cannot. You are always better off knowing the problems that you face, and knowing them as early as possible. Be especially vigilant against focusing primarily on who’s at fault. We want to learn from our past, but not at the expense of instilling fear and distrust in those with whom we work.

The higher your position in an organization’s hierarchy, the more you are expected to solve problems without requiring help from higher-ups. If something you did gets back to your superiors or senior stakeholders, you want it to be because of the good it provided, not because of a problem you caused, contributed to, or could have defused.

Maintain a great attitude It’s wonderful that we have control over our attitude; no one can choose it for us. If our attitude stinks, we have only to gaze in a mirror for the culprit. If you doubt the benefit of demonstrating a great attitude, try it for a day. Your day likely will go more smoothly, more effortlessly, and you will feel a greater sense of comfort and satisfaction with your actions and effectiveness. Take charge of your attitude; don’t let someone else choose it for you.

“The greatest discovery of my generation is that a human being can alter his life by altering his attitudes of mind.”

—William James, American psychologist and philosopher

Expect from yourself what you expect from others Hold yourself to the same high standards that you expect from others. Practice what you preach. Some examples: Arrive to meetings on time and prepared. Be timely in returning phone calls. Increase person-to-person communications while decreasing overreliance on emails.

This is not an exhaustive list, but it is a start in identifying professional behaviors to embrace. Think about the project managers and other leaders you know whom you admire the most. Many of them may already routinely practice these behaviors. It’s not just about being nice; it’s also about being effective.

You know when you are making headway in practicing these behaviors when someone compliments your behavior or action, especially if you have disarmed them because they did not think that you would have reacted so effectively. It’s a great feeling to see that your professionally mature behavior is having a notably positive impact on others.

We all demonstrate these behaviors from time to time. The key is to embrace them on a routine basis. Adopt them as a part of the professional you choose to be. The investments you make in others will be returned multifold.

Let’s Talk: Questions & Answers

Q5.1　　　　The item, “Make your boss and project sponsor look good,” makes me a bit uncomfortable. Isn’t this going to be viewed as kissing up?

A5.1　　　　There’s a difference between flattery and genuinely making your boss look good. It’s not about “kissing up”; it’s about doing your job. You come to work every day to move your company forward by focusing on your domain of responsibility. (See Chapter 1, Mind Your Own Business.) The more effective you are in performing your job, the better you and those who depend on you look. If you were the boss or project sponsor, wouldn’t you like to have employees who consistently made your job easy—made you look good?

Q5.2　　　　It seems that you are expecting project managers to be superhuman. For example, look at the item, “Meet your commitments.” In any given day, I must be in so many meetings, return so many calls, deliver so many emails or documents, and so on, that it is all but impossible for me to do all that I said I would do when I said I would do it.

A5.2　　　　We all are works in progress. Nobody does all this stuff flawlessly when they enter the workforce. Even after years of experience and striving to exemplify the best side of what it means to be a professional, we all have our moments. Don’t be too hard on yourself.

Having said that, you have control over your commitments and actions to achieve those commitments. If you have a poor track record for meeting commitments, then you need to look at your busy day and decide how to change your behavior so that you will be more effective. For example, make fewer commitments and give yourself more time. Keep in mind that because of the influential position you hold, those around you will tend to mimic your behavior—good or bad.

Q5.3　　　　You say to be accountable for your commitments and performance, but what if a commitment was not of your own doing?

A5.3　　　　Commitments are almost always of our own choosing. Picture this:

Your boss gives you an additional assignment that requires a level of effort of one month, but the assignment is not due for three months. You tell your boss that your plate is “pretty full,” but you will do what you can.

Your boss will interpret this as a commitment, even though you may think you are sending a different signal. You may feel frustrated that your boss dumped this assignment on you. You may begin to feel less conviction to prior commitments, while slowly building resentment toward your boss.

Where’s the problem in this scenario? You! When your boss first approached you with the additional work, you should have shown a great attitude by saying that you will do whatever the boss requests, but you need his help. You identify the top three to five assignments on your plate. You then ask where the new assignment should fall in terms of its priority. Something will have to give. If a commitment you made earlier to your boss will have to slip, then you negotiate for it to slip. If a commitment to another party will have to slip, then you let your boss know that you are looking for his support when you inform the other party of the situation.

You control and manage your commitments. No one, not even your boss, can know for sure when your capacity to take on more work has been exhausted. Your job is to manage your commitments candidly and maturely.

Q5.4　　　　As a project manager, I like to inject some light-heartedness, some humor, into my day. Is this okay in a professional work environment?

A5.4　　　　Yes, assuming it is in good taste and at an appropriate moment. Picture this:

A meeting has just been called to settle a dispute between two parties. As people assemble in the meeting room, an uncomfortable silence is felt. Everyone has arrived and the meeting is about to start. There’s instability in the air, a feeling of tension that one wrong word or action could ignite into an emotional explosion. The first words are spoken and a round of laughter fills the room.

A well-timed bit of humor is often sorely needed. All too often we fail to loosen up and find the humor in ourselves and our situation. How terribly depressing for a team to resist expressing the lighter side of the daily problems we face. As a leader, support a healthy dose of humor. Displaying a sense of humor also helps you remain cool under pressure and keep problems in perspective. Humor has been shown to preserve the health of individuals; it also can promote the health of a project or organization.

“It is my belief, you cannot deal with the most serious things in the world unless you understand the most amusing.”

—Sir Winston Churchill, British statesman

Caution: Don’t use sarcasm in your humor. While some may view your comment to be amusing, it may leave others feeling uncomfortable and unsettled. Sarcasm also can hurt the trust you have developed with others.

Q5.5　　　　Can a project manager with an oversized ego be consistently successful?

A5.5　　　　Although it is possible, an oversized ego can easily backfire. We all have an ego. For some, that ego can inhibit the quest for growth and opportunity.

Here is the paradox: Often the person who insists on attention is the one least likely to receive the type or amount of attention sought. An overactive ego does not help win the recognition, admiration, and approval that the egotist seeks. Instead, it has a repelling effect that causes others to limit their association with the egotist. Furthermore, it leads others to question the real value and substance behind all the verbal arm-waving.

An oversized ego can also interfere with recognizing others for their contributions. And it can bias decisions being made, favoring who is right rather than what is right.

Having an exaggerated ego doesn’t mean you will never get to be a leader. But it does mean that fewer people will trust you or want to work for and with you. It will also make your job harder and less effective than it needs to be.

Q5.6　　　　This chapter is helpful for recognizing what constitutes professionally mature behavior, but it’s easy to behave in professionally immature ways and not be aware of it. Any ideas for recognizing professionally immature behavior?

A5.6　　　　Glad you asked! I have included a chapter to address professionally immature behavior: Chapter 6, Recognizing and Dealing with Professional Immaturity.

Q5.7　　　　Although this chapter appears to be targeted to project managers, the principles discussed are relevant to all project members. Any ideas on how best to share these ideas with the team?

A5.7　　　　Yes. Chapter 19, Create the Desired Culture for Your Project, reveals an effective method for doing so near the beginning of a project.