CHAPTER 7 Behaviors to Master When Dealing with Your Leaders

Your leaders want you to know—need you to know—the behaviors they consistently expect from you. Just because you have a leadership role doesn’t mean you are living up to the expectations of your leaders. Routinely adopting behaviors that your leaders expect from you, but often do not see fulfilled, can enhance your image, effectiveness, and career—and make your leaders’ jobs easier. Here’s a starter list:

Don’t dump and run When you have an idea for an improvement, don’t transfer that idea to your leader and then wash your hands of it. Be willing to be its champion and become part of the solution. Your leader has neither the duty nor the bandwidth to personally take on and work every good idea to closure.

Make it brief When you are dealing with your peers you can speak in sentences, sometimes in paragraphs. But higher up the food chain, speak in sound bites. Your leaders don’t have time for the unabridged version. They know you are capable and worthy or you would not be in your position.

Don’t complain People who habitually complain are a bore and a waste of time and energy to those around them. If you are complaining, you are not solving; you are part of the problem. For example, if you complain to Person A about something that Person B can fix, then you just wasted your time and that of Person A. But if you “complain” directly to Person B, who can fix the problem, it is not complaining; it is the first step in moving toward a solution. By the way, if you get a reputation as a complainer, people will eventually stop listening.

Bring solutions with problems When you are faced with a problem and need help, articulate both the solution and the specific help required. Tell your leaders exactly what you need from them (e.g., funding, letter of support, escalation support, lifting the freeze on hiring, approval for new tool). You are far more likely to secure their support when you have a solution in hand and they know precisely what you expect from them to help you carry out the solution.

Wear one face Don’t be one person when your leaders are around and someone different the rest of the time. Choose the same face regardless of the audience.

Close issues Don’t allow issues to linger, to drift. Close them with the business urgency that they deserve.

Meet commitments Do what you have committed to do. Show others that you can be counted on, that you are reliable.

Promote dialogue Don’t be a “yes” employee—or more specifically, a silent employee. Don’t just take notes, nod, and leave your boss’ office. Listen thoughtfully, ask good questions, raise concerns (if any). Your leaders need your response, your ideas, and your participation. It’s far more important to be able to ask the right questions than it is to know all the right answers.

Make your leaders look good Satisfying the needs of your leaders—fulfilling their expectations—is your job. That makes them look good, which makes you look good.

Keep your leaders informed Don’t work in a vacuum. Keep your leaders informed of important news. Avoid surprises. Don’t let them hear about your newsworthy actions from someone else.

Offer professional criticism If your views run counter to your leaders’, then constructively and discreetly share those views. Your value increases when your interest, honesty, and passion are apparent.

Offer praise When you observe noteworthy ideas, actions, or deeds by your leaders, show that you appreciate their behavior. Do not focus only on criticism—as constructive as it may be.

Demonstrate integrity Know the difference between right and wrong—and do the right thing. Do not support or condone illegal, unethical, or immoral behavior.

Don’t take it personally Your leaders may not handle stress any better than anyone else. Occasionally, they may be abrupt, impatient, argumentative, unappreciative, or simply not thinking clearly or effectively. Cut them some slack as you hope others would for you.

Solicit feedback on your performance Ask for constructive criticism as well as praise based on your actions and behavior. Make it easy—be a willing student—for your leaders to work with you and professionally “shape” you into a more effective leader.

Support your peers Be quick to support noteworthy ideas and actions by your coworkers. Choose the collaborative path rather than the competitive or contentious path. Build bridges instead of burning them.

Show you can be trusted Don’t have loose lips. Earn the reputation of being a trusted confidant. Support the company mantra and work to continually improve its effectiveness.

Be a role model Without fanfare or recognition, behave in a manner that others can emulate. Promote an organizational culture that supports continual success.

If you are relatively new as a leader, this starter list may appear daunting. But to your leaders, it represents what they strive for when recruiting, coaching, and mentoring. It is my experience that far more leaders are made than born. You have the ability to shape your behavior and, therefore, your effectiveness.

Let’s Talk: Questions & Answers

Q7.1　　　　The list of behaviors appears daunting. But isn’t this really just common sense?

A7.1　　　　No. Common sense can vary widely among cultures. Often the cultures across town can be as diverse as the cultures across the world. Don’t assume you know what the accepted culture is for your leaders. If in doubt, approach them to discuss a starter list of these behaviors. Also discuss what may be missing from the list that is especially important to them.

Q7.2　　　　You say to “Make it brief,” but I am concerned that my leaders will not understand the full magnitude of what I say. Most of them are not as technical as I am, nor do I expect them to be. What do you say about that?

A7.2　　　　You need to learn to “read your audience.” People send signals when they’ve “got it.” Learn to recognize those signals, then move on. Use your best judgment. You may be doing just fine. If in doubt, ask your leaders for feedback.

Q7.3　　　　When you say “Bring solutions with problems,” do you mean we should come with multiple solutions for a single problem?

A7.3　　　　It is usually a good idea to have more than one solution to offer; however, my style, in most cases, is to offer one solution but have one or more tucked away in case I need to fall back on them. I generally believe it is not a good idea to offer up many solutions and have your leaders choose. This smacks of transferring responsibility to them. Take a position. Tell your leaders what you want them to know. If they are not satisfied, they will let you know.

Q7.4　　　　By “Wear one face,” do you mean do not talk destructively behind your leaders’ backs?

A7.4　　　　For starters, yes. But I mean much more. I want you to maintain a positive attitude about all you do and your relationships with others. Wearing two or more faces not only undermines the best interests of your leaders and the organization, but it also damages your credibility.

Q7.5　　　　Under “Meet commitments,” what if you cannot always meet your commitments?

A7.5　　　　Then fess up as early as possible and put a recovery plan in place. But do not surprise key stakeholders such as the project sponsor, client, or your senior manager or executive. Once you have made an external commitment, you no longer have the freedom to change it arbitrarily. You must openly work with the stakeholder with whom you initially negotiated the commitment.

Q7.6　　　　Under “Promote dialogue,” when my leaders have given me direction I don’t feel I have the latitude to question their marching orders. Do you?

A7.6　　　　If the direction is unclear, contradictory, incomplete, or misleading, you must professionally speak up to ensure that the proper action results. If you owned the company, would you want your employees to blindly follow your directions—especially if they are confused or need information that could change your direction? Speaking up (with a tone of respect, of course) does not have to be interpreted as insubordination. It should come across as the opposite: showing that you care about your job and doing the right thing.

Q7.7　　　　Under “Make your leaders look good,” what if I make my leader look good and he takes all the credit and leaves none for me?

A7.7　　　　This could happen, but it will not in most cases. Most leaders know that their success depends on those around them—that they look good in large part because of the many shoulders they are standing on. It is my experience that most leaders will share the limelight of their successes with those who are deserving. Occasionally, there is the bad apple who is interested only in his or her career or, frankly, may be in the wrong job. Fortunately, this is far less common than the opposite case. Over the long haul, my experience shows that the major contributors to the success of others will be recognized.

Q7.8　　　　Under “Don’t take it personally,” where do I draw the line between reasonable behavior and abusive behavior?

A7.8　　　　There are so many scenarios that it’s difficult to give a general answer. My experience is that you will know the difference when it occurs.

If the uncomfortable behavior exhibited by a leader is an exception from that leader’s typical behavior, then in most cases it may be best to let it go. If the behavior is followed by an apology, then, again, chalk it up to the leader having bad day.

If the unsettling behavior is frequent or personally crosses a line, then you may need to deal with the issue. We all have different thresholds when it comes to taking things personally. What may not be a big deal to me could be unacceptable to you. Play this one carefully. Better to err on the side of cutting too much slack than not enough.

If the situation is a legal or ethical issue, then immediately distance yourself. You should also consider alerting your legal team, human resources department, or other proper authority, depending on the specifics of the issue.

Q7.9　　　　Apparently you believe that leaders can be made?

A7.9　　　　Absolutely, yes! But even those who are “born leaders” need help along the way to fine-tune their craft. We all get better at what we do if we stick to it, care about the outcome, and understand what is expected of us.

“Contrary to the opinion of many people, leaders are not born. Leaders are made, and they are made by effort and hard work.”

—Vince Lombardi, American football coach