Speaking with presence

Being able to read the room sets the stage for speaking with presence. Public speaking can be challenging—for many of us it is one of our greatest fears. But the only way to lessen the fear is to get out and speak. And the more you do, the better you’ll get.

Your ability to read and command a room can be learned. And the best way to learn is to practice. Kim Lubel is a prime example: “I used to be terrified of speaking in front of a large group. Several years ago at Valero Energy, I was given an assignment that involved the philanthropic side of the business. This project entailed giving speeches to different groups—it was my first exposure to being groomed for leadership. I actually reached out to a coach for help, which made a huge difference.

“I’d write my remarks down—then rewrite them—and would put my notes in front of me when it was time to speak. With practice, I learned that I really didn’t have to use them. I try to look at the audience and see how they’re reacting, and if I need to redirect my remarks, I do. Nowadays that drives my speech writers crazy.”

For Jackie Hernández of Telemundo, envisioning a positive outcome has helped her speak with presence. For her first staff meeting at her former position as publisher of People en Español, Jackie envisioned herself passionately speaking to the group. An image of a successful meeting primed her to make it happen.

I am a powerful and passionate keynote speaker, but I wasn’t always—I learned by experience and also with the help of a coach, making many mistakes along the way.

Over a decade ago, I delivered a speech at a conference— and I bombed spectacularly. I was speaking at the evening session, right after dinner, and people wanted something light and anecdotal. Instead I gave them a PowerPoint presentation. I totally lost the audience and I felt bad about it. I felt like I had truly let down the person who brought me in to speak.

This experience drove me to get a coach and really hone my speaking skills. I realized how important it was to be authentic, to not show PowerPoint slides when people are expecting something different but instead to tell stories— personal stories, some of which I had told only to my best friends. And if I shared a weakness to get my point across, which I was afraid to do for a very long time, the audience connected with me even more. If someone like me, with my flaws, could be successful, so could they. My story inspired them.

Lee Glickstein, founder of Speaking Circles International, is the transformational speaking coach who worked with me. He underscored the importance of listening to your audience before, during, and after you speak in order to create nonverbal connections. I learned from him that the spark between audience and speaker is ignited as you give the audience your full attention. He also advised me that it’s okay to feel your fear but remember that most people want you to succeed.

Nowadays I speak at a lot of events, and I try to find out as much as possible about my audience beforehand. I always get to the venue an hour early so I can greet people as they come into the room. I don’t have to connect with everyone verbally, but I can acknowledge them with a glance. My intuition is at play and I trust its guidance. When I am actually on stage, I take a few deep breaths before I begin to speak, and I listen to the sounds in the room—this gets me focused and really present with my audience.

I once spoke with a group of about two hundred women whose company was being reorganized. Thousands of people were going to be laid off. I could feel the tension in the room and the stress these employees were facing. I adjusted my opening remarks accordingly and shared a time when I went through something similar. I acknowledged the discomfort of change and let them know that the decisions I made at the time actually catapulted my career. I shared with them how I took a transitional job, developed new skills, and ultimately left the company to open my own business. They really connected with me.

Confidence spark

If public speaking is a great fear of yours, try practicing first with a few people you are comfortable with, people who you know will be an encouraging audience. Allow for nervousness, but focus on your listeners and their supportive presence. Take a few deep breaths and share something personal that’s meaningful for you. Authenticity and vulnerability help create a connection with your audience. A few sessions with a coach might be helpful if you feel the need.