Get Supportive

Some managers mistakenly think that they should clearly separate themselves from their employees’ personal lives. You have much more to gain by showing your interest in their lives outside work.

I was so excited about my daughter’s singing debut at her high school. She had been taking vocal lessons, she had developed a strong, beautiful voice, and that day was her chance to show it off. She would sing the national anthem (without accompaniment) during the all-school pep rally at 1 p.m. My boss was excited for me and said, “No problem,” when I asked him if I could go watch her. But here’s the best part. When I returned, with video in hand, he asked me how it went and asked if I would show him the video. It was such a small thing but meant so much to me. I proudly showed him the video and beamed as he praised my daughter. He showed support in so many ways that day.

—Receptionist, manufacturing firm

We have heard about managers who became involved in several appropriate ways. As you read these approaches, think about which ones might work for you and your employees:

• Allowing employees’ children to come to work with them occasionally, usually to celebrate a special occasion or because of a special need

• Driving to an employee’s house to be with her and her family following a death in the family

• Accompanying employees to their children’s ball games and recitals

• Inviting an employee and his or her parents, relatives, or children to lunch

• Allowing well-behaved pets into the workplace

• Staying late after work to help employees work on Halloween costumes for their children

• Researching eldercare alternatives for an employee who needs help with aging parents

• Sending birthday cards or cakes to employees’ family members

• Setting up special e-mail and resource areas on the company intranet for employees’ children

• Locating resources (the company lawyer) for an employee struggling with the health insurance company

Here is an example of really showing support:

When people ask me why I stayed at my company for 27 years, I tell them this story: When I was pregnant with my first child—he’s now 24—I had trouble with my pregnancy and was sent home for bed rest. After two weeks, I couldn’t take it anymore and went back to work. The president of the company called me and said, “I am not going to allow you to go back and forth on the subway.” He just sent his car in the morning and took me home at night. At that time, I became a lifetime employee of that organization.

—Chairman and CEO, advertising agency