第三讲　再谈文化与翻译

本讲将进一步谈论文化与翻译的问题，主要探讨影响汉译英的文化因素。把汉语译成英语，不仅中国人会犯错误，即使母语是英语的外国译者也同样会犯错误。光是想把地道的汉语译成地道的英语，传递原文的含义不走样，就很不容易。中国人犯错误主要是由英语表达能力不足所造成的，而外国人犯错误主要也是因为表达问题，这种表达往往是由文化因素造成的，是由他们对汉语的错误理解或对中国文化的不理解所造成的。

以前听说外国人出洋相，把“伯乐”译成了“Uncle Happy”，把“此人好生面善”译成“This guy really has a good face”。

中国人在汉译英时所出的“洋相”，有些是因为缺乏某方面的知识，但这也反映了译者的责任心不强。他为什么不能去查一查呢？例如，把“勃泥国”译成“Boni”，这就不对了（其实文莱国古称“勃泥国”，所以正确译法应当是Brunei）。把“达摩”译成“Damo”也会让外国人看了觉得莫名其妙（达摩是“菩提达摩”的简称，是从梵文变化而来的英文词，是不能用汉语拼音来代替的，正确写法是Bodhidharma）。

把余秋雨的《寻觅中华》翻译成英文的是个外国人。说实在的，翻译余秋雨的作品也真难为他了，如果没有一定的中国文化底蕴，翻译起来肯定比较棘手。制约他翻译的正是文化因素。这个外国译者是“初生牛犊不怕虎”，找了个中国人当助手，对有些问题还没有弄明白，就开始翻译了。顺便说一句，这个人标新立异，翻译时把中文的人名和地名全都用了标有四声的汉语拼音，颠覆了约定俗成的翻译原则，这是不可取的。下面这些资料是我有幸在替他“看看”的过程中积累的。

一、对汉语的习惯用法不熟悉

例1　他已经度过了自己所划定的“而立”之年，确立了自己的人生观念和行为方向。

原译：He had already been through his own, self-imposed establishment period, verily erecting his own sense of life and behavioral direction.

点评：这显然是由不懂“而立”的意思引起的错误。建议用解释性的翻译：He was already over thirty, an age he called“er li”，and had established his own sense of life and behavioral direction.最后出版的（Quest for Chinese Culture[以下简称Quest]，p.47）文字中只在an age he called“er li”前后各加了一个括号。

例2（他）几经转折，当了敦煌莫高窟的家。

原译：After a few twists and turns, he became a member of the Dūnhuáng Mògāo caves family.

点评：译者之所以犯这样的错，是因为不懂“当家”的意思。“当家”就是“成了家长”，这里应该译为“became the master of Mogao caves, managing the affairs there”。出版时是按修改的译文，不过caves的“c”改成了大写。（Quset, p.133）

例3　莫高窟以佛教文化为主，怎么会让一个道士来当家？

原译：The Mògāo caves chiefly are concerned with Buddhism, so how could a Daoist be allowed in the family？

点评：这也是对“当家”不理解所进行的意译，不过没能译出本意。建议修改为“……how is it that a Daoist could be allowed to manage the affairs there？”。

出版时的译文：The Mogao Caves are chiefly relating to Buddhism, so how is it that a Daoist could be allowed to manage the affairs there.（Quset, p.133）例4　究竟谁是第一功臣？

原译：Who is ultimately in charge？

点评：这是对“功臣”一词不理解。译者以为功臣是真正的掌权者，其实不然。比较合适的译文是：Who is the greatest hero？或者Who is the number one hero？出版时用了前者。（Quset, p.178）

例5　徐光启的第十六代孙是个军人，他有一个外孙女叫倪桂珍，便是名震中国现代史的宋氏三姐妹的母亲。

原译：The 16th generation descendant of Xú Guāngqǐwas a soldier who had a niece named Ní Guìzhēn who was the mother of the movers and shakers of modern Chinese history, the three Sòng sisters.

点评：译者不懂中国的家族关系，“外孙女”并不是niece，而是granddaughter，正确的表达应该是whose granddaughter或者whose daughter's daughter。

出版时的译文：The 16th generation descendant of Xú Guāngqǐwas a soldier who had a granddaughter（named Ní Guìzhēn）who was the mother of three influential figures of modern Chinese history, the three Sòng sisters.（Quset, p.192）

只可惜这里的“宋”应该译为Soong而不是Sòng，尽管这是加了四声的song。

例6　于是，又是蒋孝琬，连夜挑灯研读那几个经卷。

原译：Shortly after, it was yet again Jiǎng Xiàowǎn who hung up a lamp and studied those scrolls through the night.

点评：“挑灯”不一定要把灯挂起来，它的第一个意思是把灯芯挑亮一些。建议用by the lamp through the night。

出版时的译文：Shortly after, it was yet again Jiǎng Xiàowǎn who studied those scrolls by the lamp through the night.（Quset, p.63）

例7　这便是大器之成，这便是大匠之门。

原译：The system succeeds, and a door opens for a future master.

点评：这是他不懂原文意思造成的错误。为了照顾他的原译，建议译文为“This is a great vessel that takes time to shape；and this is a door that opens for a future master.”。出版的文字中采纳了这个建议。（Quset, p.63）

例8　对于平日的寻常气象、山水风景，他们也有可能淡淡地瞭上两眼，却还分不出太多的心情。

原译：Concerning common, everyday weather and landscapes, they couldn't possibly look upon them coolly, without having some distinct emotions well up.

点评：原文“也有可能淡淡地瞭上两眼”，应该改成“could have cast a glance indifferently”。这在出版时已经改正。（Quset, p.20）

二、对中国的地名不熟悉

例1　但是，就在恶性冲突之后，西方列强在上海发现了一个信奉天主教的家族聚汇地，叫徐家汇。

原译：However, when the vicious confrontations abated, the allied nations discovered the meeting place of an extended Catholic family called Xú Jiāhuì.

点评：原译中把“徐家汇”译成了Xú Jiāhuì，因为他不知道中国地名的译法。

出版时的译文：However, when the vicious confrontations abated, the allied nations discovered the meeting place of an extended Catholic family called Xújiāhuì.（Quset, p.191）

例2　洛阳到函谷关也不近，再往西就要到潼关了，已是今天的陕西地界。

原译：HángǔPass is still a good distance from Luòyáng.Yet further west rests Tóng Pass, which approaches the exit of Shǎnxī.

点评：这里特别值得一提的是，单个字的地名应当依据中国的翻译习惯，译为Tongguan Pass。可是这个译者硬把“潼关”译成他所认为的Tóng Pass。在出版时仍然没有修改。这个问题我们在今后还要专门讲，在此就不多说了。

另外，“which approaches the exit of Shǎnxī”是明显的错译，应该是“which belongs to what is now Shanxi”，不过他在最后出版的译文中删除了“已是今天的陕西地界”几个字。（Quset, p.52）

例3　现在，可以到关外的大漠荒烟中，去隐居终老了。

原译：Now he could go beyond the gates and into the shifting sands, living out his days as a recluse.

点评：其实这里的“关外”指的是函谷关外；“大漠荒烟”则应指戈壁大沙漠，所以建议改为“Now he could go beyond the gates of HángǔPass and into the shifting sands of the Gebi Desert, living out his days as a recluse.”。出版时按建议改了过来。这里的HángǔPass和Gebi Desert是翻译中的“必要添加”。（Quset, p.52）

例4　他也到过泰山东北边的齐国，只是走得不太远。

原译：He also went to the northeast side of Mount Tài, Qí State, though it wasn't very far.

点评：这显然是错译。可以译为“He also went to the State of Qi to the northwest of Mount Tai, only he did not go very far.”。

出版时的译文：He also went to Qi State on the west side of Mount Tai, only that he did not go very far.（Quset, p.55）但“东北边”被译成了“west side”。

例5　这就像大鹏和鸿雁相遇，一时间巨翅翻舞，山川共仰。但在它们分别之后，鸿雁不断地为这次相遇高鸣低吟，而大鹏则已经悠游于南溟北海，无牵无碍。差异如此之大，但它们都是长空伟翼、九天骄影。

原译：This is like the meeting of a Péng and a swan, their great wings fluttering for a time amid intertwining mountains and rivers.But after they part, the swan constantly moans and cries over this meeting, whereas the Péng has already traveled the southern rivers and northern seas-free from responsibilities.Despite such great differences, they will always be hyperboreans.

点评：“大鹏”是大鸟，其中“鸿雁”，余秋雨是想说“鸿鹄”吧？它是大雁和鹅的统称，也泛指大鸟。其中“南溟”的译文也不对。庄子《逍遥游》中称：“南溟者，天池也。”因此，southern rivers不是一个恰当的翻译。出版时的文字中在Péng的后面加了个括号，中间有个roc；在over mountains and rivers后面加了arousing great awe（表示山川共仰）；后面的南溟也改成了Tianchi in the south。（Quset, p.97）

例6　中国哪里美女最多？我没有做过认真比较。但是，那次去贵州省雷江县的西江苗寨，实在被一种拥挤的美丽镇住了。那天正好是这里的“吃新节”，夏收刚刚结束，新米已经上灶，大家远远近近走在一起庆祝好年成。长廊上摆着一长溜看不到头的矮桌，村民们坐在两边吃吃喝喝，长廊外面的广场上已经载歌载舞。

原译（粗体是译文不当之处）：Where can one find the most beautiful women in China？I've never seriously investigated the question, but on my trip to LéiJiāng Township's Xījiāng Miáozhài in Gùizhōu Province I was deeply moved by a kind of“crowded”beauty.On that very day it was the local Chīxīn Festival.With the summer harvest complete and fresh rice already on the stove, everyone from near and far came together to celebrate a successful year.They put a short table in the pavilion that meandered off into the distance on which the villagers sat on both sides eating and drinking along, and in the square outside the pavilion there was even singing and dancing.

点评：这段译文中有七个建议修改的问题：

（1）the most beautiful women没有译出“美女最多”的含义，建议用biggest number of；

（2）西江苗寨中的“苗寨”不是地名，所以不能译为Miáozhài，建议用Miao Village；

（3）“被……给镇住了”不是was deeply moved；

（4）“好年成”不是a successful year，建议用a year of good harvest；

（5）“长廊”不是pavilion，建议用corridor；

（6）They put a short table……一句系错译，建议改成In the long corridor was a seemingly endless line of short tables；

（7）there was even singing and dancing建议改成singing and dancing hadstarted already。

出版时的译文：In what location can one find the highest concentration of beautiful women in China？I've never seriously investigated the question, but on my trip to LeiJiang County's Miao Village in Guizhou Province I was stopped in my tracks by a“crowded”beauty……on that very day it was the local Chixin Festival.With the summer harvest completed and fresh rice already on the stove, everyone from near and far came together to celebrate a good harvest.In the long corridor was a seemingly endless line of short tables, on both sides of which the villagers sat eating and drinking, and in the square outside the corridor singing and dancing had already commenced.（Quset, p.20）

遗憾的是，作为地名的“雷江”的翻译，应该译为Leijiang才对。

三、对中国历史、历史人物、典故缺乏了解

例1　鲁国的君主鲁昭公为他提供了车马仆役。

原译：The sovereign of Lu State, Lu Shao, provided horse-drive carts and servants.

点评：其实“公”只是一个诸侯，按照中国的习惯，“鲁昭公”应该是Prince Zhao of the State of Lǔ。同一篇中还有“老子曾经西出函谷关，太史谵也曾经西出函谷关去找秦献公”被译为“Lao Zi had previously gone west out of Hangu Pass, as did Tai Shidan when looking for king Qin Xing.”“太史谵”和“秦献公”都译错了，应为“Taishi Dan”和“Prince Xian of the State of Qin”。

例2　他已经感受到生命终点的临近，正急忙从两千多年前的诸子百家中选取两家……

原译：When he felt the end of his life nearing, he went through the works in ZhūzǐBǎi Jiāworks spanning two thousand years of history……

点评：译者把诸子百家当成了一本书（使用了斜体）。这当然是文化知识问题，后半句应译为“He selected two from the works of the numerous schools of thinkers of the late Zhou Dynasty more than two thousand years ago.”这段文字在出版的时候已被删除。

例3　中国十九世纪后期出现的“买办”群体。

原译：the late-19th century Chinese international traders。

点评：“买办”不是“international traders”而是“comprador”。这个问题经指出后改了。（Quset, p.138）

例4　先秦不少古籍都有这种情况。

原译：This kind of situation exists with many ancient books of the early Qín era.

点评：“先秦”应该是“pre-Qin era”，它不是秦朝的早期，而是秦朝之前的那段历史时期。由于出版时这个句子被删去，这个理解性的错误也就不复存在了。

例5　因为“君子”这个概念的主要创立者从一开始就把“二律背反”输入其间，使君子立即变得深刻。

原译：This is because from the start, the creator of the gentleman concept added these polar opposites together, molding them into something profound.

点评：“二律背反”是“antimony”，建议改成“introduced the idea of‘antinomy’into the gentleman concept”。

出版时的译文：This is because from the start, the main creators of the gentleman concept had introduced the idea of“antinomy”，molding them into something profound.（Quset, p.62）

例6　记得是《公孟》篇里的一段对话吧，儒者公孟子对墨子说，行善就行善吧，何必忙于宣传？

原译：I vaguely remember that it was a section in Gōngmèng, the Confucian Gōng Mèngzǐsaid to Mòzǐ：if you just want to be charitable, why bother proselytizing？

点评：公孟子是一个人，所以应译为Gongmengzi；“Why bother proselytizing？”中的“proselytize”是美国俚语（American Slang），有“劝诱”之意，用在这里恐不合适。“何必忙于宣传？”应译为“Why bother making it known？”这个意见没有被采纳。Proselytize有两个意思：①to induce someone to convert to one's own religious faith.②to induce someone to join one's own political party or to espouse one's doctrine；to convert（a person）from one belief, doctrine, cause, or faith to another.这里的“宣传”是“张扬”的意思，并不是像“传道、传教”或者“让人改变信仰”的意思。这是由错误的理解导致的错误用词。

四、对中国文化的内涵等方面很不了解

例1　北方有人侮辱我，我想请你帮忙，去杀了他。酬劳是二百两黄金。

原译：There's a northerner who insulted me.I need your help assassinating him.I'll pay you 200 pieces of gold.

点评：这里主要是译者对“两”不熟悉，实际上“两”应译为“tael”。

出版时的译文：There's a northerner who insulted me.I need your help assassinating him.I'll pay you 200 tael in gold.（Quset, p.73）

例2　其实这是一种战备物资，贮存时间长了，本应销毁……

原译：In reality they were a kind of a long shelf-life item we'd stock up on in wartime.For that reason they should have been discontinued after the war.

点评：这是明显的理解问题。建议修改为“It was in fact a foodstuff stored for war, and should have been destroyed when its date of quality had expired.”。出版时，“foodstuff”被改为“wartime ration”，其余地方均未改动。（Quset, p.3）

例3　反而，后来因为卫国的一个名人牵涉到某个政治事件，孔子曾经与他有交往，因此也受到怀疑并被监视。

原译：It turns out that an acquaintance of Confucius was just involved in a political incident, which then shed a bad light on Confucius when he arrived.

点评：其实孔子不是到了那里的时候受到怀疑。建议修改为“Later on, Confucius was under suspicion and surveillance because he had an acquaintance who was involved in a political event.”。

出版时的译文：Later, Confucius was under suspicion and placed under surveillance, because an acquaintance of his was involved in a political scandal.（Quset, p.58）

例4　这就是墨子对于他的“非攻”理念的著名实践，同样的事情还有过很多。原来，这个长途跋涉者只为一个目的在奔忙：阻止战争，捍卫和平。

原译：This was Mòzǐ's famous implementation of the“no-harm principle”.Similar examples abound.From the start, this long-distance journeyman had only one reason to hurry along—to stop war from happening and to keep the peace.

点评：“非攻”可译为“concept of‘condemnation of offensive war’”。“非”应该是“反对”“批评”的意思，维基百科上将“非攻”译为“condemnation of offensive”。我们能否译为“non-aggression”？

出版时的译文：This was Mòzǐ's famous implementation of the“non-aggression principle”.Similar examples abound.From the start, this long-distance traveler had only one reason to hurry along—to stop war from happening and to keep the peace.（Quset, p.75）

例5　这些人一听到墨子的指令都能“赴汤蹈火，死不旋踵”。

原译：those who at the sound of Mòzǐ's orders could“douse and trample out fires without fear of death”.

点评：“赴汤蹈火”多译为“willing to go through fire and water”，“死不旋踵”是否译成“would rather die than turn back……”更好一些？

出版时的译文：Those who would at the sound of his orders be willing to go through fire and water and would rather die than turn back.（Quset, p.77）

五、对汉语的描述分寸把握有不少问题

例1　恰恰在王道士发现藏经洞的当天，列强决定联合出兵。

原译：It was on the same precise day that Wáng the Daoist discovered the sutra cave that the Allies started their attack.

点评：译文没有反映“联合”的意思，建议改为“The Allies decided to join hands in an attack”。出版的译文如上所改。（Quset, p.136）

例2　刚刚道别，他又要急急地与奇异的山水相融，并在那些山水间频频地马背拱手，招呼新的好兄弟了。他老是想寻仙问道，很难把友情作为稳定的目标……于是，又一番充满诗意的告别，云水依依，帆影渺渺。

原译：Just after parting ways, he was again itching to intermingle with nature, and in that nature clasp his hands atop his horse, greeting his new, good brothers.He was always asking philosophic questions, so it was hard for him to see friendship as a stable goal……

点评：有几处翻译不到位，如“奇异的山水”应译为“grotesque landscape”；再如“寻仙问道”并非“asking philosophic questions”，而是“seeking to meet immortals and recluse”；“云水依依，帆影渺渺”译得没有灵气，建议译为“lingering clouds and hardly visible sails”。

出版时的译文：He would request that his newly made friends go with him to see a Taoist recluse……Afterwards, they'd have another round of poetic goodbyes with lingering clouds and hardly visible sails.（Quset, p.96）

例3　我心中的唐诗，是一种整体存在。存在于羌笛孤城里，存在于黄河白云间，存在于空山新雨后，存在于浔阳秋瑟中。只要粗通文墨的中国人一见相关的环境，就会立即释放出潜藏在心中的意象，把眼前的一切卷入诗境。

原译：In my mind, the Táng poems exist as a whole—in a lonely city filled with the sound of a Qiāng flute, in the mist of the Yellow River, in lonely mountains after the rain, or in river-reflected sunlight accompanied with an autumn zither melody.Once Chinese with even a minimal understanding of literature see the correlating environment, they will immediately free up their heart's desires and infuse everything before their eyes into poetic imagination.

点评：这段翻译的问题是胡乱解释，而且把这里的“瑟”当成了乐器。他还很认真地做了一个注释：瑟（sè），an ancient floor harp related to the Chinese gǔqín（古琴）and the Japanese koto.Its legendary inventor Fúxīis also reputed to be the author of The Book of Changes。

这里的“羌笛”“孤城”“黄河”和“白云间”均出自王之涣的《凉州词》；“空山新雨后”是王维的《山居秋暝》的第一句，可译为“the empty mountains after a fresh rain”，而“浔阳秋瑟”则出自白居易《琵琶行》的第一句“浔阳江头夜送客，枫叶荻花秋瑟瑟”，所以宜译为“existed in Xunyang River in late autumn（Xunyang is today's Jiujiang in Jiangxi province）”。所以第一句建议这样译：The Tang poems, in my mind's eye, exist as a whole in“the Qiang flute”and“a lonely city”，in“the Yellow River”and in“the white clouds”，in“the empty mountains after a fresh rain”，in“the Xunyang River in late autumn”。出版时，这段话被整体删除了。

例4　经过一二百年的风风雨雨，处处已显出苍老，但苍老而风骨犹在，竟然没有太多的破败感和潦倒感。

原译：Going through one or two hundred years of wind and rain, everywhere there are signs of age.Yet age and style are everlasting, and there really isn't too much feeling of ruin or failure.

点评：原译还不到位，建议修改为“Aged they were, their vigorous style was everlasting, and they didn't give any impression of dilapidation and frustration.”。出版时除时态被改为过去时，余皆被采纳。（Quset, p.158）

例5　黄帝就不一样了。男性的力量大为张扬，温柔的平静被打破，试图追求一种更加宏大的平衡。《五帝本纪》说黄帝“习用干戈”“修德振兵”“抚万民，度四方”，俨然是一位骑在战马上俯瞰原野的伟大首领。

原译：At that time Huángdì was different.He boldly paraded masculine power, broke up peaceful scenes, and tried to strike a kind of broad balance Wǔdì Běnjì（Biographies of Five Chinese legendary kings）states that Huángdì was“accustomed to using weaponry”“leading soldiers by example”“pacifying the people”and“saving all sides”.Assuredly he served as the great chieftain, looking down on the wild from his warhorse.

点评：显然他对原文中的几个地方没有吃透，“更加宏大的平衡”应是“balance on a much larger scale”；“修德振兵”应为“cultivating morality and strengthening the army”；“度四方”指丈量四方土地，加以规划，应为“measuring the land in the country”；《五帝本纪》应为“Biographies of Five Chinese Legendary Kings”。

出版时的译文：At that time Huángdì was different.He boldly paraded masculine power, broke up peaceful scenes, and tried to strike a general balance.Wǔdì Běnjì states that Huángdì was“accustomed to using weaponry”“cultivating morality and strengthening the army”“pacifying the people”and“measuring the land for better planning”.Assuredly he served as the great chieftain, looking down on the wild from his warhorse.（Quset, p.11）

例6　我们在他的诗里读到千古蜀道、九曲黄河、瀑布飞流时，还能读到他的眼神，几分惶恐，几分惊叹，几分不解，几分发呆。

原译：In his poems when we read of the severely-inclined, ancient roads of Sìchuān, the nine bends of the Yellow River and rushing waterfalls, we can also read into the look in his eyes—read some fear, some astonishment, some confusion, and some catatonia.

点评：“九曲黄河”不是“the nine bends of the Yellow River”，应该是“多湾的”。建议改为“In his poems when we read of the severely-inclined, ancient roads of Sìchuān, the meandering Yellow River and torrential waterfalls, we can also read into the look in his eyes—read some fear, some astonishment, some confusion, and some dumbfoundedness.”。

出版时的译文：In his poems when we read of the severely-inclined, ancient roads of Sìchuān, the meandering Yellow River and torrential waterfalls, we can also read his eyes—read some fear, astonishment, confusion, and dumbfoundedness there.

六、古汉语的功力不济

对古汉语的理解不足是翻译工作中的一个大问题，它是翻译的一个环节，涉及语言的第一次翻译，即由古汉语到现代汉语。这是外国人翻译时经常遇到的困难，下面举例说明。

例1　老夫不知何言，吾妻！

原译：Old Confucius cried speechlessly，“Thine wife！”

点评：这是十分简单的古汉语，“老夫”是孔子自称，“吾妻”是孔子对妻子说话时的称谓。

出版时的译文：I really don't know what to say, my wife.（Quset, p.65）

例2　百家言黄帝，其文不雅驯。

原译：Everyone is always bringing up Huángdì，and this is not good etiquette.

点评：司马迁的意思是，先秦的诸子百家都在讲述黄帝的故事，可是他们没能正确地进行解释。“雅训”的一个意思就是“正确的解释”。建议译成“All schools talked about Huangdi, but their interpretations were not correct.”。可惜这一段也在出版时被删除了。

例3　民多而田少，竭丰年之谷，不足供两月。故耕种之外，咸善谋生，跋涉数千里，率以为常。

原译：Píngyáo has many people and few fields, so even if they work all year the entire harvest wouldn't yield enough food for two months'use.Because there are very few who aren't farmers for a living, they often go to faraway places to survive.

点评：这里出现了对“咸善谋生”的错误理解。该短语的真实意思是“所有人都善于谋生”。建议修改意见为“There are many people and few fields, so even in a year of bumper harvest, the grain wouldn't be enough for two month's use.So besides farming, they are all good at making a living, and it is very common for them to go to far away places to survive.”。

出版时的译文：The people to farmland ratio is high, so even if there is extra harvested one year, the grain wouldn't be two months's use in the next.So besides farming, they are all good at making a living and it is very common for them to go to far away places to survive.（Quset, p.163）

例4　城市中“不士、不农、不工、不商之人，十将五六”。

原译：……and fifty to sixty percent of the city people“weren't willing to be soldiers, weren't willing to farm, and weren't willing to do business”.

点评：这里的“soldiers”是不理解古文造成的翻译错误。士农工商是中国古代所谓四民，指读书的、种田的、做工的、经商的。这句宜译为“five or six out of ten city people were not scholars, farmers, craftsmen, or businessmen.”.

出版时的译文：……“fifty to sixty percent of the city people weren't scholars, farmers, craftsmen or businessmen.”（Quset, p.153）

例5　帮助他完成这种精神转化的第一要素，是酒。“人分千里外，兴在一杯中”“但使主人能醉客，不知何处是他乡”，都道出了此间玄机。

原译：The primary factor that allowed him to complete this kind of spiritual transformation was alcohol.“When a man meets another from a faraway land, their happiness is in a glass.”“A host at a distant location can give liquor to his guest, then what does the guest care what location that is？”Such statements are revealing.

点评：其实“人分千里外，兴在一杯中”是李白《江夏别宋之悌》中的句子：“楚水清若空，遥将碧海通。人分千里外，兴在一杯中。谷鸟吟晴日，江猿啸晚风。平生不下泪，于此泣无穷。”既然是“别”，就不好用meet了。能否改为“We'll be thousands of miles apart, and the feeling is all in the glass”？“但使主人能醉客，不知何处是他乡”出自李白《客中作》：“兰陵美酒郁金香，玉碗盛来琥珀光。但使主人能醉客，不知何处是他乡。”“但使”是“只要”的意思，能否改成“if only the host entertains me with good wine, I don't know if I am in a strange land？”。

出版时的译文：The primary factor that allowed him to complete this kind of spiritual transformation was alcohol.“A host at a distant location can give liquor to his guest, then what does the guest care what location that is？”“If only the host entertains me with good wine, I don't know if I am in a strange land？”Such statements are revealing.（Quset, p.92）

例6　墨家还批评儒家“不击则不鸣”的明哲保身之道，提倡为了天下兴利除弊，“击亦鸣，不击亦鸣”的勇者责任。

原译：They went on to criticize the Confucians'reserved character of self-preservationists, advocating instead that a man be courageous and face his duty to improve greater society.

点评：“不击则不鸣”原文是“……问焉则言，不问焉则止，譬若钟然，扣则鸣，不扣则不鸣”（……问了才说，不问就不说，就像敲钟一样，敲了才响，不敲就不响）。如这句不译，似乎可惜了。

出版时的译文：They went on to criticize the reserved character of Confucians（speaking only when spoken to），advocating instead that a man be courageous and face his duty to improve greater society（speaking even when not spoken to）.（Quset, p.84）

虽然译出了基本意思，但我认为还不到位。可能这样译更贴切：They criticized the Confucians'worldly-wise-and-play-safe attitude of“saying nothing when not asked”，advocating a courageous man's attitude of“speaking out whether being asked or not”，in order to promote what is beneficial and abolish what is harmful.

例7　据《商子》记载，在炎帝的部落里，“男耕而食，妇织而衣，刑政不用而治，甲兵不起于王”（正确的文字应该是“甲兵不起而王”，意思是无须使用武力就可以得天下）。

原译：According to the records of Shāngzǐ，in Yándì's tribe，“Men cultivate and provide food, women spin fabric and supply clothes, and the nation runs without the use of law or the need to raise troops.”

点评：“刑政不用而治，甲兵不起而王”这两句基本上没有译对。正确的译法应该是：achieve social order without using penalty, and bring a place under one's rule without using military force.

出版时的译文：……Their nation achieves social order without the use of punishments and takes over territories without using military force.（Quset, p.10）

七、外国译者有时候也很粗心大意，也犯语法错误

例1　很久失去自信的上海人偶尔在广播电视里听到宋庆龄、宋美龄女士讲话，居然是一口地道的上海口音，感到很不习惯。

原译：In spite of their adopting a very authentic Shànghǎi dialect, when Shanghainese who have long lost their confidence listen to the occasional TV broadcast with Sòng Qìnglíng and Sòng Měilíng's locution, they feel profoundly unfamiliar.

点评：这里“lose their confidence”后面最好跟“in”，所以后面应该用“listening”。出版的文字中，“listen”后面加上了“ing”，另外“profoundly”改成了“quite”。（Quset, p.192）

例2　楚王一听，就下令不再攻打宋国。

原译：Once the Chǔlord heard this, he immediately ordered a ceasefire.

点评：从上下文看，楚王只是在做攻打的准备，所以不能译为“ceasefire”。

出版时的译文：Once the Chǔlord heard this, he immediately made an order to cease preparations for the attack on ChǔState。（Quset, p.75）

例3　他们长揖作别。

原译：They said a long goodbye.

点评：其实“作揖”是中国的礼节，这里建议改为“They bowed deeply to bid farewell.”。出版的文字中删除了deeply。（Quset, p.50）

例4　黄道婆使上海成为一个以纺织业为中心的商贸重镇。

原译：Huáng Dàopó turned Shànghǎi into an important textiles village.

点评：“商贸重镇”应该是“an important textile-based commercial and trading town”。最后的译文也是这样改的。（Quset, p.190）

例5　山西商人全方位的成功，与他们良好的整体素质有关。这种素质，特别适合于大规模的商业活动，因此也可称之为商业人格。

原译：Shānxībusinessmen's broad-scale success is related to their good overall character.This character is especially well-suited to macroeconomics.

点评：“全方位”用“all-round”比“broad-scale”要好。“大规模的商业活动”用“large-scale economic activities”更好，“macroeconomics”是“宏观经济学”的意思，如用形容词“macroeconomic”则可以。

出版时的译文：Shānxībusinessmen's all-round success is related to their good overall character.This character is especially well-suited to macroeconomic activity.（Quset, p.169）

例6　他的大儿子张廷材听说他可能在宣府，便去寻找他，但张廷材去了多年也没有了音讯。小儿子张廷楌长大了再去找父亲和哥哥，找了一年多谁也没有找到，自己的盘缠却用完了，成了乞丐。

原译：His elder son Zhāng Tíngcái heard that his father was likely in Xuānfǔand went looking for him, though Zhāng Tíngcái stayed there many years without a clue as to his father's whereabouts.After the younger son Zhāng Tíngyán had grown up, he went looking for his older brother and father.He searched for more than a year and didn't find anyone, and running out of travel money and becoming a beggar.

点评：这段译文中“也没有了音讯”（指大儿子）系错译，应该是“however he had never been heard of ever since he left”才对。在出版的文字中，只把“didn't find anyone”改成了“failed to find them”。（Quset, p.167）

例7　孔子的这次上路，有点匆忙，也有点惆怅。他一心想在鲁国做一个施行仁政的实验，自己也曾掌握过一部分权力，但最后还是拗不过那里由来已久的“以众相凌，以兵相暴”的政治传统。

原译：This time when Confucius set out on his trip he was not only in a hurry, but also a bit nervous.He had resolved to realize benevolent governance in LǔState（and even succeeded in obtaining a modicum of power），but in the end he could not sway the traditional rule by mutual intimidation and military violence Confucius was thus abandoned by the Lǔnobility.

点评：这里首先出现了一个用词错误，“惆怅”不是“nervous”，而是“disconsolate”；其次是不理解“以众相凌，以兵相暴”是“靠人多势众或者靠武力欺负小国”的意思。建议把后半句译为“long-standing political tradition of‘bullying by numerical majority and military violence’”。

出版时的译文：This time when Confucius set out on his trip he was notonly in a hurry, but also a bit disconsolate.He had resolved to realize benevolent governance in LǔState（and even succeeded in obtaining a modicum of power），but in the end he could not change the long-standing political tradition of mob bully and military violence.（Quset, p.56）

例8《贵义》篇中写道，一位齐国的老朋友对墨子说，现在普天下的人都不肯行义，只有你还在忙碌，何苦呢？

原译：In his Guìyì it is written that an old friend from Qí State told Mòzǐthat people everywhere are not willing to work for justice.If you're the only one doing the work, why bother？

点评：这里的“people everywhere are not willing to”有部分否定之嫌，建议改为“nowhere in the world are people willing to”。

出版时的译文：In his Guìyì it is written that an old friend from Qí State told Mòzǐthat nowhere in the world are there people willing to work for justice.If you're the only one doing the work, why bother？（Quset, p.88）

例9　草稿中有多处漏译，现举一例：

他不是无处停步。任何地方都愿意欢迎一个光有名声和学问，却没有政治主张的他。任何地方都愿意赡养他、供奉他、崇拜他，只要他只是一个话语不多的偶像。但是，他绝不愿意这样。

原译：Not that he had nowhere to stay.He would have been welcome had he been a man of fame and learning without any political ideas.He would have been financially supported, materially provided and academically worshipped, so long as he were an idol who remained taciturn.However, that was what he would never have done.

出版时的译文：Not that he had nowhere to stay.He would have been welcome had he been a man of fame and learning without any political ideas.He would have been financially supported, materially provided and academically worshipped, if he had become an idol who remained taciturn.However, that was not something he would ever have done.（Quset, p.59）

例10　老子的白口袋里，装着他在关口写作并讲解《道德经》的报酬——十五个饽饽，这又是鲁迅的小说手法了。我喜欢鲁迅对于老子出关后景象的散文化描写，尤其是把白、黄、青全都变成灰色，再变成黄尘的色彩转换。而且，还写到关尹喜回到关上之后，“窗外起了一阵风，刮起黄尘来，遮得半天暗”。老子会怎么样，很让人担忧了。不管怎么说，这是中国第一代圣哲的背影。

原译：In his white bag was the reward he got for his Daodejing, which he wrote and lectured when he was at the gate—fifteen steamed bread, and this again is Lu Xun's style of writing.I like Lu Xun's prose-like description of Laozi leaving the pass, especially the change of white, yellow and black into grey and then to the yellow dust.What is more, when he wrote about Guan Yinxi returned to the pass when“a gust of wind outside the window blew up the dust that shielded the sky”.What would become of Laozi is everybody's worry.At any rate, this was the back of China's first generation of Sage.

出版时的译文：In his white bag was his payment（fifteen steamed buns）for completing the Dàodéjīng, which he wrote and recited when he was at the gate—and this again is LǔXùn's style of writing.I like LǔXùn's prose-like description of Lǎozǐleaving the pass—especially the change of white, yellow and black into gray and then to yellow dust.Furthermore, he also wrote about Guān Yǐnxǐ's return to the pass and how“a gust of wind outside the window kicked up dust that blanketed the sky”.Everyone was worried about what would become of Lǎozǐ.In any case, they were watching the back of a man who was to become the first of a generation of Chinese sages.（Quset, p.54）

本讲结束语：这一讲罗列了不少现象。它们只是一个外国译者在翻译一本书时出现的一些情况和问题，并不能涵盖汉译英的全部情况和问题。我们一开始就说了，涉及古汉语的地方一定要去查考，等明白以后再着手翻译，这样错误就可能减少一些。这对我们中国译者也一样。希望这个讲座能有助于大家破解汉译英过程中所发现的问题。有些问题我们后面还要谈到。

翻译练习

下面的句子是《寻觅中华》的译者在翻译过程中出现的问题。这样的句子，你怎么译？参考译文在答案中。

1.安史之乱

原译：Ànshǐconflict

2.抱愧山西

原译：The Shame of Shānxī

3.我正在一一撤回来好交代给你。

原译：I'm selling them off one by one and giving you all the proceeds.

4.我几乎不会言动，眼前一直晃动着那些草刷和铁锤。

原译：I'm practically mute as I watch the constantly swinging grass brushes and iron hammers.

5.掌权的极“左”派根据一个人含糊其词的“揭发”，断言我父亲有“政治历史问题”……

原译：Someone from the extreme left of the regime had vaguely exposed my father, concluding that he had a“political history problem”……

6.他以前也曾对邻近的齐国怀抱过希望，但齐国另有一番浩大开阔的政治理念，与他的礼乐思维并不合拍。例如那位小个子的杰出宰相晏婴，虽然也讲“礼”却又觉得孔子的“礼”过于繁琐和倒退。

原译：At one point he had hopes for the neighboring Qí State, but the popular political consciousness there didn't line up with his morality.For example, that short-statured yet outstanding prime minister Yàn Yīng had morals, but he still found those of Confucius to be too backwards and complex.

7.……正像现在即使人人去唱“卡拉OK”，也不能证明这是一个音乐的时代。

原译：……though all Chinese sing karaoke, this does not prove that this is a musical era.

8.（他们）只是汤官和皂隶之子罢了。

原译：……as being of low stock and only the sons of kitchen managers and volunteers.

9.“兼爱”“非攻”我已经在上文做过解释，“尚贤”“尚同”还没有，但这四个中国字在字面上已经表明了它们的基本含义：崇尚贤者，一同天下。所谓一同天下，也就是以真正的公平来构筑一个不讲等级的和谐世界。

原译：I've already explained universal love and harmlessness above, though the latter two are still unexplained.Yet their basic meaning can be understood from their names.Devotion is the adoration of the virtuous, and camaraderie is equality everywhere.This refers to using genuine fairness to construct a classless, harmonious society.

10.（我决定）先把一些著名的常规景点游览完，最后再郑重其事地逼近我心里埋藏的那个大问号。

原译：（I decided）to first take a tour of some well-known, must-see areas, and again finally taking that big question mark hidden in my mind very seriously.