像国王一样富有 Rich as a King

佚名/Anonymous

William I, who conquered England some 930 years ago, had wealth, power and a ruthless army. Yet although William was stupefyingly rich by the standard of his time, he had nothing remotely resembling a flush toilet. No paper towels, no riding lawn mower. How did he get by?

History books are filled with wealthy people who were practically destitute compared to me. I have triple-tracked storm windows, Croesus did not. Entire nations trembled before Alexander the Great, but he couldn't buy cat food in bulk. Czar Nicholas II lacked a compound-miter saw.

Given how much better off I am than so many famous dead people, you'd think I'd be content. The trouble is that, like most people, I compare my prosperity with that of living persons: neighbors, school classmates, TV personalities. The covetousness I feel toward my friend Howard's new kitchen is not mitigated by the fact that no French monarch ever had a refrigerator with glass doors.

There is really no rising or falling standard of living. Over the centuries people simply find different stuff to feel grumpy about. You'd think that merely not having bubonic plague would put us in a good mood, but no, we want a hot tub too.

Of course, one way to achieve happiness would be to realize that even by contemporary standards the things I own are pretty nice. My house is smaller than the houses of many investment bankers, but even so it has a lot more rooms than my wife and I can keep clean.

Besides, to people looking back at our era from a century or two in the future, those bankers' fancy counter tops and my own worn Formica will seem equally shabby. I can't keep up with my neighbor right now. But just wait.

大约在930年前，威廉一世征服了英格兰，他拥有财富、权势和无情的军队。尽管以他那个时代的标准，他确实富得令人咂舌，可他连一个类似抽水马桶的东西都没有。没有纸巾，没有坐式割草机，他是如何勉强度日的呢？

历史上的富人不计其数，可比起我来，他们却是穷酸至极。我有三层隔离风暴的窗户，克罗伊斯王却没有。面对亚历山大大帝，全国的百姓都会瑟瑟发抖，可他连散装的猫食都买不到。沙皇尼古拉二世甚至没有一把复式轴锯。

比起这些逝去的著名人物，我是如此富有，你一定认为我已经心满意足了吧。可问题是，我像大多数人一样，把自己的财富与这些活着的人作比较：邻居、同学、电视剧中的人物。尽管法国的君主没能拥有带玻璃门的冰箱，但这并不能减轻我对朋友霍华德新厨房的强烈羡慕。

生活水平确实既没有提高也没有降低。几个世纪以来，人们只是寻找不同的素材来发牢骚而已。也许，你以为，只要没有黑死病，人们就会心情愉快，但是，不，我们还想要个热水浴盆。

当然，一个获得幸福快乐的方法是，要认识到，即使是按当代标准，我拥有的这些东西也是很不错的。比起许多投资银行家的豪宅，我的房子是小了点儿，但是，这些房间我和妻子还收拾不过来呢！

此外，要是让未来一两个世纪的人看来，那些银行家上等的精致柜台，看起来和我家陈旧的福米加塑料贴面一样简陋。现在我还不能与邻居相比，但是，等着瞧吧！

人比人气死人，货比货得扔！生活不能盲目地作比较，这会让我们失去享受生活的乐趣！

mower ['məuə] n.割草机；割草的人

May I borrow your lawn mower?

我可以借用你的割草机吗？

prosperity [prɔs'periti] n.繁荣；成功

People enjoyed a prosperity undreamed of at the end of the war.

人们享受着在战争结束时做梦也想不到的繁荣。

grumpy ['ɡrʌmpi] adj.脾气暴躁的；性情乖戾的

She's very grumpy when her tooth aches.

她牙痛时脾气很暴躁。

contemporary [kən'tempərəri] adj.当代的；同时代的；属于同一时期的

A translation should read as a contemporary of the translator.

译文读起来应该像译者同时代的作品。

他是如何勉强度日的呢？

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历史上的富人不计其数，可比起我来，他们却是穷酸至极。

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生活水平确实既没有提高也没有降低。

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How did he get by?

get by：通过；过得去；过活；获得认可

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Entire nations trembled before Alexander the Great, but he couldn't buy cat food in bulk.

in bulk：大批；大量；整批；散装

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