10 Dr. Know-it-all (Germany)

Once a poor peasant by the name of Crabbe hauled a cord of wood to town in a wagon drawn by two oxen, and sold his wood to a doctor for two talers^[1]. When he came in to get his money, the doctor was sitting at the table. The peasant saw what lovely things he had to eat and drink, and he longed to be a doctor. After standing there awhile, he asked: “Is there any way of my getting to be a doctor?”“Why not?”said the doctor. “It’s easy.”“What would I have to do?”asked the peasant. “First, buy yourself an ABC book, the kind with a rooster in it; second, sell your wagon and your two oxen,take the money and buy clothes and the other things a doctor needs; third, have the words ‘I am Dr. Know-it-all’ painted on a sign, and hang it over the door of your house.”

The peasant did everything he had been told. When he had doctored awhile but not for so very long, some money was stolen from a rich nobleman. Someone told him about Dr.Know-it-all. So the nobleman went to the peasant’s house and asked: “Are you Dr. Know-it-all?”“That’s me.”“Then come with me and find the money that was stolen from me.”“All right. But my wife Greta must come along.”The nobleman had no objection. He seated them in his carriage, and away they drove together. When they got to the manor, dinner was on the table, and the peasant was asked to sit down. “Gladly,”he said, “but my wife Greta must sit with us.”So they sat down, and when the first servant came in with a platter of fine food, the peasant nudged his wife and said: “Greta, that’s the first,”meaning the servant with the first course. But the servant thought he had meant to say: “That’s the first thief.”And since that’s just what he was, he took fright and said to his comrades in the kitchen: “The doctor knows it all, we’re in trouble. He said I was the first.”The second didn’t even want to go in, but he had to. When he appeared with his platter, the peasant nudged his wife: “Greta,”he said, “that’s the second,”and the second servant hurried out of the room, as frightened as the first. The third fared no better. The fourth brought in a covered dish, and the nobleman said: “Now show your skill. Tell me what’s under the cover.”It was a crab. The peasant looked at the dish. He hadn’t the faintest idea what was in it. “Poor Crabbe^[2]!”he cried out. When the nobleman heard that, he said:“If he knows that, he must know who has the money.”

The servant was frightened to death. He signaled to the doctor to come outside for a minute. When he met them outside,all four servants confessed they had stolen the money. They offered to hand it over and give him a tidy sum in addition, if only he didn’t tell anyone who had taken it, for if he did they would be hanged. Then they led him to the place where the money was hidden, and that was good enough for the doctor.He went back in, sat down at the table, and said: “Your lordship,now I will look in my book and find out where the money is.”At that, the fifth servant crawled into the stove, wanting to find out how much the doctor actually knew. The doctor opened his ABC book and leafed backward and forward, looking for the rooster. When he couldn’t find it, he said: “I know you’re there, so what’s the good of hiding?”The servant in the stove thought the doctor was speaking of him and popped out in a fright, shouting: “He knows it all! He knows it all!”Then Dr.

Know-it-all showed the nobleman where the money was, but didn’t tell him who had stolen it. He was richly rewarded by both parties and became a famous man.

—Jakob and Wilhelm Grimm

[1]　talers：德國舊銀幣名。

[2]　Crabbe：“克拉比”和crab（螃蟹）在德文中同音。