15 Clever Grethel (Germany)

There was once a cook, and her name was Grethel. Now one day her master said to her: “I have a guest coming this evening, Grethel, and I want you to roast us a pair of fowls for supper.”

Grethel said: “Why, yes, master. They shall taste so good you won’t know what you’re eating.”So she killed two fowls,stuffed them with stuffing, and towards evening put them down to a clear, red fire to roast. And when they were done to a turn^[1] and smelt sweet as Arabia^[2], Grethel called out to her master:“If that guest of yours don’t come soon, master, I shall have to take the fowls away from the fire. And I warn you, they will be utterly spoilt, for they are just at their juiciest.”Her master said: “So, so! I will run out and see if he is coming.”

As soon as her master had turned his back, Grethel thought to herself she would have a little sip of wine. Having had one sip, she took another sip, and then another. Then she looked out of the window; and when she saw that nobody was coming,she said to herself: “There! one of the wings is burning.”So she cut off the wing and holding it between her finger and thumb, ate every scrap of it up, to the very bone. Then, “Dear me,”she sighed to herself, looking at the chicken, “that one wing left looks like another wing missing!”So she ate up the other.

Then she said, “Once those two poor hens were sisters, and you couldn’t tell ’em apart. But now one whole and the other nowt^[3] but legs!”So she gobbled up the wings of the other chicken to make the pair look more alike. And still her master did not come. Then said she to herself:

“Lor’, Grethel, my dear, why worry? There won’t be any guest to-night. He has forgotten all about it. And master can have some nice dry bread and cheese.”With that she ate up completely one of the chickens, and then, seeing how sad and lonely the other looked all by itself with its legs sticking up in the air and both its wings gone, she finished off that too.

She was picking the very last sweet morsel off its wishbone when her master came running into the kitchen,and cried: “Quick, Grethel! Dish up! dish up! Our guest has just turned the corner.”But he at once rushed out to see if the table was ready, and the wine on it; snatched up the great carving-knife, and began to sharpen it on the doorstep.

Pretty soon after, the guest came to the door and knocked.Grethel ran softly out, caught him by the sleeve, pushed him out of the porch, pressed her finger on her lips, and whispered:“Ssh! Ssh! on your life! Listen, now, and be off, I beseech you! My poor master has gone clean out of his senses at your being so late. If he catches you, he will cut your ears off.Hark now! He is sharpening his knife on the doorstep!”

At this the guest turned pale as ashes, and hearing the steady rasping of the knife on the stone, ran off down the street as fast as his legs could carry him. As soon as he was out of sight, Grethel hastened back to her master. “La, master!”she said, “you’ve asked a nice fine guest to supper!”

“What’s wrong with him?”

“Wrong!”says she. “Why, he had scarce put his nose in at the door, when he gives a sniff. ‘What! chicken!’ says he. And away he rushed into the kitchen, snatched up my two poor beeootiful^[4] birds, and ran off with them down the street.”

“Heaven save us!”said her master. “Then I shall have nothing for supper!”And off he ran in chase of his guest,crying out as he did so: “Hi, there! Stop! Stop! Hi! Just one!Just one! Only one!”But the guest, hearing these words, and supposing that the madman behind him with his long knife meant one of his ears, ran on faster than ever into the darkness of the night. And Grethel sat down, happy and satisfied.

—Jakob and Wilhelm Grimm

[1]　to a turn：食物煮熟，恰到好處。

[2]　Arabia：阿拉伯半島，以生產香料著名。

[3]　nowt：即nought或nothing。

[4]　beeootiful ：beautiful拉長聲。